Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some
people
believe that today's communication between friends and relatives has been made worse by
television
. In
this
essay, I will discuss
this
topic taking into account reasons in support and against
this
belief.
Firstly
, in almost any family there is that one person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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the majority of his
time
in front of
television
Add an article
the television
a television
show examples
, zapping through the channels and avoiding any contact with the other family members.
This
habit can ruin not only our relationship with our parents or our siblings
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
with our friends. Because of
television
, these
people
avoid going out and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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some
time
doing some valuable activity with other
people
of their age. The consequences are obviously not good. Isolation, loneliness and laziness
cane
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
make a person's life much more sad and difficult.
Socialize
Wrong verb form
Socializing
show examples
is one of the most fundamental things to do, especially when we are young, the age
in
Change preposition
at
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which we should make our most important friendships.
On the other hand
, I don't believe that
television
only can be blamed for
this
condition that some
people
unfortunately live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
I grew
watching
Change preposition
up watching
show examples
television
, but
this
never prevented me from
also
going outside and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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with my friends in the park. I think that
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
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role is very important in educating, especially the young, to not spend too much
time
in front of a screen, because our
time
is precious and we should spend it doing valuable activities with valuable
people
.
Finally
, I believe that
television
cannot be considered as an evil instrument that
make
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makes
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us lazy and lonely
people
. If used well, TV could be
also
instructive, so it depends
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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how we use it. We should be able to understand if are watching too much
television
and
consequently
wasting too much
time
of
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in
show examples
our life.
Submitted by danieleperrone459 on

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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, it is important to directly address the given statement and state your position clearly.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, providing more specific examples to support your points would further strengthen your response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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