Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that today's communication between friends and relatives has been made worse by
television
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
this
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topic taking into account reasons in support and against
this
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belief.
Firstly
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, in almost any family there is that one person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
spend
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spends
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the majority of his
time
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in front of
Use synonyms
television
Add an article
the television
a television
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, zapping through the channels and avoiding any contact with the other family members.
This
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habit can ruin not only our relationship with our parents or our siblings
,
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apply
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but
also
Linking Words
with our friends. Because of
television
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, these
people
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avoid going out and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
some
time
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doing some valuable activity with other
people
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of their age. The consequences are obviously not good. Isolation, loneliness and laziness
cane
Correct your spelling
can
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make a person's life much more sad and difficult.
Socialize
Wrong verb form
Socializing
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is one of the most fundamental things to do, especially when we are young, the age
in
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at
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which we should make our most important friendships.
On the other hand
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, I don't believe that
television
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only can be blamed for
this
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condition that some
people
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unfortunately live
.
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in.
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I grew
watching
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up watching
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television
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, but
this
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never prevented me from
also
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going outside and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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with my friends in the park. I think that
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
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role is very important in educating, especially the young, to not spend too much
time
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in front of a screen, because our
time
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is precious and we should spend it doing valuable activities with valuable
people
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.
Finally
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, I believe that
television
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cannot be considered as an evil instrument that
make
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makes
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us lazy and lonely
people
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. If used well, TV could be
also
Linking Words
instructive, so it depends
from
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on
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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how we use it. We should be able to understand if are watching too much
television
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and
consequently
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wasting too much
time
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of
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in
show examples
our life.
Submitted by danieleperrone459 on

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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, it is important to directly address the given statement and state your position clearly.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, providing more specific examples to support your points would further strengthen your response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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