Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools are considered to be the lighthouse of a population, and if learning is the backbone of a nation, seminary are the place to build it.
However
, the main objective of academies is a never-ending debate. I agree that a school's main purpose should be to turn students into honest and good citizens and make them ready to work for society
instead
of turning them into selfish money-making machines by helping them individually just to be ready to get a job.
First,
the main purpose of education is to build up an enlightened nation where morality, honesty and integrity would be the key characteristics. They would keep aside their personal ambitions, and work together for the betterment of the country. Since a school is a place where pupils' training is taken care of, its chief objective should be to focus on nurturing morality and good human characteristics among the students
while
also
preparing them for careers that would benefit the association. To exemplify, if talented and experienced doctors treat patients only for the money, healthcare for all would be a distant dream. So, to build a nation where people will help each other
instead
of turning into money-making machines, we should focus on our schooling organization, especially what we teach our admission.
Second,
states spend a lot of money to keep the seminary and their study system running. A major portion of
this
spending comes from tax money. From
this
regard, if schools plan to adopt an education system where teachers’ sole purpose would be to teach students how to personally benefit from jobs or businesses, the whole schooling system would collapse. We have to be very careful
while
educating our children. What we teach them in their early stages will shape them, and if the academy fails to teach them to become ideal citizens, it will be a great concern in the future.
Moreover
, personal benefits, good grades and a better career should not be the main reasons offspring attend school. They should attend an academy to become enlightened members of the public. In conclusion, making ideal citizens and dedicated workers should be the true objective of our academy. The greater good of society, the bright and prosperous future of the public, and the personal achievements of individuals are connected with the way we teach our children in schools and
that is
why our teaching should focus on morality and quality.
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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific instances from current events, historical events, or personal anecdotes can make your essay more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the vocabulary and expressions used are varied and appropriate. Some phrases, such as 'turning into selfish money-making machines,' could be made more formal or varied to suit academic writing.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing the importance of schools in creating good citizens and workers.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and flows well. You have a clear introduction, two well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully supported your main points with relevant explanations, which add depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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