IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some pople think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work intead of bering put behind bars. To what extend do you agree?

#pople #prisoners #community #work #intead #bars
In most countries prisoners have the right reintegrate to
society
 after getting out of prison, the problem is that they don’t
recibe
get something; come into possession of
receive
cualify education
Suggestion
a qualified education
qualified education
qualify education
 an guidance to really
maske
engage in
make
 it happened. Having inmates
lockeout
a management action resisting employee's demands; employees are barred from entering the workplace until they agree to terms
lockout
locked
whithout
in absence of
without
 doing something productive it do not
beneficiate
Suggestion
benefit
beneficial
beneficent
 the
communitys
Suggestion
community's
community
 economy, nor the prisoner’s
readaptation
a written work (as a novel) that has been recast in a new form
adaptation
 process. If
victimazers
a person who victimizes others
victimizers
 have the
oportunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
 to contribute to their
society
 by making non-profit
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 the will be able to have a better
readaptation
a written work (as a novel) that has been recast in a new form
adaptation
 process and the government will not spend money by
highering
engage or hire for work
hiring
 people to do the
work
.
Furthermore
, prisoners can have a good
oportunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
 to learn new skills and have a mental
brake
some abrupt occurrence that interrupts an ongoing activity
break
 from the agonizing situation they might be living.
In contrast
, forcing inmates to do free
work
 can be
use
Suggestion
used
 to violate their human rights,
that is
, there is a sharp line between unpaid community
work
 and force
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 or
explotation
the act of making some area of land or water more profitable or productive or useful
exploitation
.
Moreover
, it is
essencial
absolutely necessary; vitally necessary
essential
 to make a good policy regarding nonprofit
work
 focusing on the benefits that the
society
 will have as well as the inmate.
Finally
, the government has to start looking for the reasons people end in prison, because it may have to do with the country’s administration and lack of
oportunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
opportunity
. Overall, unpaid community
work
 has more benefits than disadvantages, so I strongly agree with
this
 policy.
Nevertheless
, the
proyect
a clergyman in Christian churches who has the authority to perform or administer various religious rites; one of the Holy Orders
priest
project
priests
 shall considerate
essencial
absolutely necessary; vitally necessary
essential
 human rights and its
paradigma
systematic arrangement of all the inflected forms of a word
paradigm
 has to
focuse
the concentration of attention or energy on something
focus
 on the
bernefit
financial assistance in time of need
benefit
benefits
 that the community will
recibe
get something; come into possession of
receive
, as well as the
inmate’s
Suggestion
inmate
 reintegration to
society
 and the
work
 field.
Submitted by mariacreel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: