IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays children watch too much TV. Why is this happening, and what can be done to prevent it?

#children #tv
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days spending too much
time
 in front of the
TV
 is becoming a trend among youngsters, which has its profound drawbacks and consequences on children. I firmly believe parents have to be restricted the amount of watching
TV
 to curb its harmful effects. Craving for watching
TV
 has been increased among young people in recent years due to some reasons.
First
 of all, because of urbanization, we have witnessed mounting laziness among individuals, especially children, so they prefer staying at home in front of screens rather than going out, doing some physical activities or hanging out with friends.
Secondly
,
TV
 shows and programs, relatively are becoming more vivid and colourful, especially those preparing for young people,
therefore
 more children are attracted,
also
 ploys and commercial tricks have immense effect of
this
 approach. And
lastly
, sometimes due to families’ financial status, there is no activity available for children, except spending leisure
time
 in front of the
TV
. In many developed countries, children have had numerous options for their pastime.
Firstly
, parents should regulate the amount of watching
TV
 by preparing various hobbies for them
such
 as some physical activities or reading a book, etc.
Secondly
, having some extra hours in schools for hobbies and leisure
time
 can help children have some quality
time
 with classmates and has tremendous effect on their upbringing both physically and mentally. And
finally
, by extending cities and urbanization, governments should consider about making recreational facilities and minimum infrastructures to can be addressed the population demands and prepare an ample amount of public sport fields or facilities at a reasonable price to appeal more children to
this
 kind of activities. To conclude, I reaffirm my position, in which government, schools and especially parents have had a duty to prepare various hobbies for youngsters and regulate their watching
TV
 to curb its harmful effects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: