The chart below shows that total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows that total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given chart shows the UK telephone calls, by call type category. These call types are local fixed line, national and international fixed line, and all calls in mobiles. The chart shows the total number of
minutes
in
billions
from 1995-2002.
Firstly
, the local fixed channel illustrates a bell shape figure from 1995-2002. Telephone calls using
this
field are 71
minutes
in
billions
in 1995 which increases until it reached 90
minutes
in 1999 and decreases until it becomes 71
minutes
again in 2002.
Secondly
, people who
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
national and international, illustrate an increasing straight channel as the years pass by. To demonstrate, it is 38
minutes
in 1995 and increase to 61
minutes
by 2002.
Last
but not the least, people who use mobile calls illustrate an increasing U-shape. It was dramatically lower in 1995 which only have 3
minutes
of calls, converted in the
billions
. As the world is changing because of the power of new technology, it gradually becomes high in 2002 with 45
minutes
in the
billions
.
Therefore
, I conclude that there's a tendency that local fixed
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
will continue decreasing because more people are switching to mobile phones.
On the other hand
, calls from international and national increase
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
constant number every year like 1-3
minutes
.
To sum up
, all telephone lines except
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
fixed line increased.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
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