IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing.

#cities #crisis #land #buildings #governments #park #development
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There is a massively increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of the population taking place in our contemporary society.
That is
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,
this
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 leads to a situation where a larger supply of houses is demanded.
While
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 some consider redeveloping parkland as a solution to house crises, there are
also
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 a large
number
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 of people who stand against the idea of damaging the natural
environment
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I strongly believe that park
areas
Use synonyms
 should be preserved as long as possible for the sake of quality of life in the cities
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one side of
debate
Add an article
the debate
show examples
, allowing parkland to be reassigned for
hosing
Correct your spelling
housing
show examples
 can be considered as much more economical when high rising building.
Also
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,
high rising
Add a hyphen
high-rising
show examples
 buildings
last
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 for a long term as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 must be built in a stable construction to support
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 weight.
For example
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,
the
Change preposition
in the
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 capital city of Japan, Tokyo where many populations have been congested, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 roughly ninety percent of
high rising
Replace the word
high-rise
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 buildings.
As a result
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, parkland assigned for
high rising
Replace the word
high-rise
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building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 can be seen as economical as it provides not only a long period of expectancy but
also
Linking Words
 stable construction. Meanwhile, green
areas
Use synonyms
 used for redevelopment for housing can have a negative impact on our
environment
Use synonyms
.
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Number
Change the article
A number
The number
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 of trees to be cut, the smaller
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of oxygen to be supplied. The World Health Organization (WHO) has suggested that every city should have a minimum of 9 square meters of green space per person
for fighting
Change preposition
to fight
show examples
 against the pollution made by cars, factories and the burning of fossil fuels.
Thus
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, green
areas
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 play an important role in our
environment
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, minimizing the level of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, those tending towards the second opinion argue that preserving great
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be seen as an important factor for the next generation. In fact, Tropical forests are the major buffer against climate change, so burning them has a double impact on global heating.
For instance
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, Australian The government has environmental laws in which people are prohibited
to visit
Change preposition
from visiting
show examples
 natural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Such
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 being the case, the conservation of the
environment
Use synonyms
 can drive future generations into a situation where they can face fewer issues
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global warming. To recapitulate,
while
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 there are a large
number
Use synonyms
 of advantages of redeveloping
park land
Correct your spelling
parkland
show examples
 for residential places, the advantages of preserving natural environments outweigh its merits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, preservation of the environmental places is strongly recommended.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing crisis
  • residential development
  • reassigning park land
  • green spaces
  • recreational activities
  • mental well-being
  • ecological balance
  • environmental consequences
  • supporting biodiversity
  • high-rise apartments
  • vacant lots
  • repurposing industrial areas
  • community opposition
  • social unrest
  • quality of life
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • integrating green spaces
  • preservation
  • communal spaces
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