IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #cycle #salmon #egg #adult #fish #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 about the different stages that a salmon undergo in its
life
 cycle from egg to adult fish.
overall
 from the diagram we get to know that salmon undergoes
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eight different stages in its
life
 period from incubation to spawning. salmon
life
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 in River where it undergoes
incubation
Correct article usage
an incubation
show examples
 period.
Emergence
Add an article
The emergence
show examples
 of
salmons
 from the eggs is
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 phase of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lifecycle.only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
them
resists
Correct subject-verb agreement
resist
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the harsh conditions in
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 and
emerges
Correct subject-verb agreement
emerge
show examples
 out of the egg
then
 they are reared in freshwater. During 4th stage of
cycle
Add an article
the cycle
show examples
,
salmons
 undergo Estuary rearing Before swimming
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
.
Next
 from
estuary
Correct article usage
the estuary
show examples
salmons
 enter into
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 and
migrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
migrate
show examples
 to some rearing areas.During
this
 time in
Correct article usage
the ocean
show examples
ocean
Add a comma
,ocean
show examples
salmons
 undergo Growth and maturation
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the adult fish again
migratesto
Correct your spelling
migrates to
migrate to
 spawning areas where it
finally
 undergoes spawning in
freash
Correct your spelling
fresh
 water.the
life
 cycle again
continuos
Correct your spelling
continues
show examples
vice
Correct word choice
and vice
show examples
 versa.
Submitted by harshitha.priya26 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, salmons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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