financial education should be a mandatory components of the high school program.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #components #school #program

The Monetary discipline, subject should be included as compulsory course in the higher studies streams. It

is recently argued

Suggestion

has recently been argued

, that financial education should be obligatory subject in high schools. I

compeletly

to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent

completely

agreed with

this

thought as it will instruct pupils regarding saving funds.

First

of all I believe that, nowadays children are spending money in terms of buying unnecessary stuff and they do not realise the value of money.

Moreover

Accept space

in today's modern society, parents are occupied in their 9 to 5 jobs and most of the parents are not around, so they lend their debit / credit cards to their children as in case of emergency requirement.

However

, children misuse

this cards

Suggestion

these cards

this card

in terms of

fullfiling

put in effect

fulfilling

their needs.

For example

, most of the children spend their time

to play

Suggestion

playing

multiple games and gets addicted to it. To bring the feeling of

satification

the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation

satisfaction

, they end up buying gaming cards or visit game zone parlour where they waste

huge amount

Suggestion

a huge amount

of time along with money. As we move focus towards fashion, it is the

popular trend among the youth and everyone wants to look like

celebrity

Suggestion

a celebrity

celebrities

as a result

their attention draws towards trendy cloths and

withouth

in absence of

without

second thought

Suggestion

a second thought

they purchased it

Accept space

Additionally

Accept space

among the girls the tendency of makeup is increasing day by day and because of the

advance

Suggestion

advanced

techonlogy

the practical application of science to commerce or industry

technology

throught

from beginning to end

through

thought

Andriod

an open-source operating system used for smartphones and tablet computers

Android

android

apps they get multiple choices in cosmetics along with the discounts. Meanwhile, in

thier

of them or themselves

their

free time, many of them end up spending

huge amount

Suggestion

a huge amount

huge amounts

on these makeup kits. So, In my view

Accept space

the concept of Financial education brought up by high schools, is most useful in terms of awareness to those kids who are addicted to playing games and become

shopoholic

. Eventually,

this

subject will help to educate them in terms of saving their funds for their near future.

Secondly economic

Accept comma addition

Secondly, economic

aducation

the activities of educating or instructing; activities that impart knowledge or skill

education

is needed for the development of their future

investement

the act of investing; laying out money or capital in an enterprise with the expectation of profit

investments

Besides

this

they will learn how to invest on the productive things and make use of that.

Moreover

Accept comma addition

Moreover, this

this

course will slow down the development of narcissist nature

amoung

in the middle of

among

the kids

additionally

it will teach them how to live

simple life

Suggestion

a simple life

the simple life

simple lives

Submitted by invictusfz5 on Sun Feb 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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financial education should be a mandatory components of the high school program.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Plastic products are bad for environment? Tell me the cause and solution?

Some people are born to be a leadership others believe that leadership can be learned. Discuss both views and give your opinion.