IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people decide on career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life
Every individual will have their own
career
 plans in order to live a happy
life
. Some people decide their
career
 path during their small age and strive to achieve it.
This
 obviously leads to a satisfied working
life
. There are some other thing
one
 can do to have a satisfying work
life
. I totally agree with
this
 and I will explain my reasons and
also
 some other ways to have a happy
life
 in the following passage.
Firstly
, every person during their early age gets motivated by their parents and tutors to have a particular aim in
life
. So that,
one
's mind will be fixed to achieve it.
Accordingly
, an individual can have a satisfying and happiest
life
 in the future without any regrets. Whatever the grade they read, they mainly concentrate on their goal. Indirectly,
this
 helps them to collect information and take coaching related to that field.
For example
,
one
 wants to become an IAS officer, he will survive from his early age to achieve it by taking related coaching.
On the other hand
,
One
 has to do what they like to do
then
 only people can have satisfying working
life
. Anyone, who do the job in which they are not interested cannot lead a happy
life
. Even though it fulfil their daily need to survive.
For example
,
one
 has a dream to become an officer, but due to some reasons he could not and doing some other work because of
this
life
 long he has that regret which makes him unhappy.
One
 can take an inspirational person to become like them and
also
, learn an art
such
 as music, drawing, sports and so on. Indeed, these different things can
also
 guide
one
 what they want to become in
life
. After having considered all the points that I have discussed above, we can
finally
 draw a conclusion that every student should have their
career
 plan to achieve a goal and to a satisfying work
life
 in their future.
Also
,
one
 can plan their
career
 graph gradually, so that at
one
 stage they get an idea what they wish to become in future.
Submitted by shyamgsmb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: