IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. What are the causes? Suggest possible solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

To be a
business
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 person requires some basic
skills
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 namely interpersonal or cooperative
skills
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 that are found less in new
employees
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 nowadays because of not having proper training and mentorship.
This
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 essay will consider a few causes and a possible solution to be a successful
business
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 in the world.
To begin
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 with problems, the foremost one is that lack of confidence and improper training in the startup
business
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 can create a catastrophic situation.
This
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 is because
employees
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 can not deal with the situation that they are facing in the future, and the entire budget could fall
due to
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 uneducated human errors.
For instance
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, one researcher claims that
however
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, many entrepreneurs cannot select their mentors so they lose their family relations
due to
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 having a financial crisis.
In addition
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, adequate mentorship is
also
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 one of the causes of a lack of interpersonal
skills
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 in the
business
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, which not only affects running businesses but
also
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 successful companies which hire
employees
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 who have fewer qualifications.
On the contrary
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, there would be possible solutions that can benefit
employees
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 who need to learn how to gain interpersonal
skills
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 by arranging practical seminars and group discussions that would be more effective to upgrade
skills
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 for newcomers.
For example
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, most successful businesses arrange an event where several
business
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 people gather to have an opportunity to communicate with them and learn how they succeed in their career journey, and how to gain cooperative
skills
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 type of event helps the employee to improve fundamental interpersonal
skills
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 to be a successful
business
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. In conclusion, the above discussion of problems and solutions that
employees
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 tend to arrange meetings to improve
skills
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 by selecting proper mentorship and reading books.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the causes and solutions you intend to discuss. Aim to directly address the prompt by making your position or main argument explicit in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The body paragraphs should have a clearer topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument. Make sure each paragraph builds on the last in a logical manner, and use linking words to help with the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay should attack the question with more focused argumentation and detailed examples. The task asks for the causes and solutions to the lack of interpersonal skills, so each paragraph should address a single aspect of the question thoroughly with specific support.
Task Achievement
You should include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. These can be drawn from reliable sources, case studies, or credible hypothetical scenarios. This is important to satisfy the requirement of presenting clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • cooperative skills
  • face-to-face interaction
  • digital communication
  • non-verbal cues
  • active listening
  • education system
  • technical knowledge
  • soft skills
  • remote work
  • work environment
  • comprehensive training programs
  • workshops
  • teamwork
  • role-playing scenarios
  • open communication
  • collaborative efforts
  • educational institutions
  • curriculums
  • hybrid work models
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