IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe that there are other alternatives ways of reducing crime. Discuss your opinion?

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternatives
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Few people are of thought process that most effective way to lessen
crime
Use synonyms
 is to place criminals in prison for
longer period
Suggestion
a longer period
longer periods
 of time.Whereas, another chunk of
public
Suggestion
the public
 is in favour of seeking finer choices to minimize the
crime
Use synonyms
 rates. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I am going to elaborate both the perspectives and shall put forth my opinion my own thinking. The outcome of imposing
strictness
Suggestion
stricter
 against
such
Linking Words
 offenders to put them in jail for
prolong period
Suggestion
prolonged periods
prolonged period
a prolonged period
 will indirectly put
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of pressure on the mental stability and it's an opportunity for a prison
services
Suggestion
service
 to rehabilitate the defender.
For
Linking Words
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 someone has committed the
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offences
offence
such
Linking Words
 as sexual assault than it is completely sure that
offender
Suggestion
the offender
an offender
 will stay for
long time
Suggestion
a long time
. In order
to be assure
Suggestion
to assure
 that proper guidance and certain warning is given to them to cease all
these type
Suggestion
these types
 of practices.
Linking Words
Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 will put a lot of pressure on their brain to make them feel disgraceful for
this
Linking Words
 act.
Therefore
Linking Words
 longer
prision
a correctional institution used to detain persons who are in the lawful custody of the government (either accused persons awaiting trial or convicted persons serving a sentence)
prison
 sentences will act as deterrent for someone who is thinking of doing
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime
. Some people contradict that leaving
such
Linking Words
 criminals to prison will mix with other mastermind criminals
such
Linking Words
 people are brainwashed their mind
hence
Linking Words
 it will not prove their character. So one alternative is community service.
This
Linking Words
 gives the opportunity to
offender
Suggestion
offend
 some positivity and support from desire ones to leave it on society. To conclude, the government should research the various methods of
crime
Use synonyms
 reduction to ensure effective policies in place.
Submitted by ravneet.kaur0219 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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