You have met many people throughout your life. Choose one particular person you would call the most unforgettable and describe why he/she is so unforgettable.

#people #life #person

Many years ago, I participated in a Sprite commercial shooting, and Jay was the main cast for the commercial. Jay is a top

celebrity

and a songwriter from Taiwan. His

music

is not only popular in Taiwan but

also

in Asia. At that time, I admired him and became one of his fans. Little did I know how

this

commercial shooting experience would lead Jay to become the most unforgettable person throughout my life. In the summer of 2000, I worked a part-time job at a film production company in Asia. One day, the producer told me that we had a chance to work with Jay Chau for the Sprite commercial. I was extremely excited about

this

news because I was Jay’s fans. At

first

, I had a lot of hesitation in working with a

celebrity

because I think most of the celebrities are arrogant persons.

However

, the hesitation had gone after I met Jay at the commercial shoot. The commercial was shot in rural

China where

Accept comma addition

China, where

there was limited access to basic needs,

such

as food and transportation. The shooting location was even worse. Because of the geographic location, none of our vehicles were able to operate there.

As a result

, we had to walk up the hill. Despite

this

chaotic situation, Jay’s altitude and performance were professional and cooperative.

Besides

, Jay

also

enjoyed playing his guitar at his break time, and he even invited the whole crew to join his

music

party, including me. Jay, as a

celebrity

, shared his joy and

music

without any reservation with us. He is

such

a kind, humble, and talented

celebrity

. He is indeed a

music

genius.

Lastly

, Jay’s persistence and determination inspire my future. A few years later, I moved to California and returned to college. Fortunately, I had met Jay once in my life. That experience not only led Jay to become the most unforgettable person in my

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

also

inspired me in my career.

Mon Feb 03 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You have met many people throughout your life. Choose one particular person you would call the most unforgettable and describe why he/she is so unforgettable.

Fully explain your ideas

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?