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Writing Samples
Band 6

Online games are becoming more and more popular these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online games?

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There is a tendency to play
games
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 online and it is more popular among people nowadays. Playing online
games
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 has not only disadvantages but
also
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 advantages. On the
one
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 hand, it could enhance brain development and allow entertainment
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also
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.
On the other hand
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, it can be a cause for new health problems and addiction may be a reason to make an impairment in daily
activities
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. Through
this
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 essay above topics will be discussed in depth.
Firstly
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, internet game
activities
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 are blended with a number of
activities
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 which can help to improve cognitive development. Most of them use numeric calculations and
hence
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 it affects directly
one
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's brain improvement. Not only that it can be used as a leisure
time
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 activity as it is not boring and makes pleasure by achieving the game step by step.
For instance
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one
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 of my colleagues, who was not good at mathematics at school age, now able to solve math problems in mind within a short
time
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 period. The reason may be he is playing advanced
computer
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games
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 as a hobby. Even though
,
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apply
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 it has beneficial outcomes, drawbacks
also
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 can be seen. Spending a considerable
time
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 in front of a screen may affect
on
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apply
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one
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's vision and
therefore
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, parents are advised to limit the screen
time
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 of children to protect their eyes from serious vision impairment problems. Attractive user surfaces
also
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 gradually increase the willingness to play
games
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. Even though
computer
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games
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 are considered hobbies these types of
activities
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 can harm people's daily
activities
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 and the education of children
also
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. Because most of the children spend too much
time
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 on
computer
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 entertainment
activities
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 per day unknowingly.
One
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 of my co-workers had to use spectacles after using computers for several hours daily and now he is on follow-up for eye treatments.
To sum up
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, most people are playing
computer
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games
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 at present and it has both pros and cons as it may affect health directly and even if it is responsible for brain development
also
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear central topic within each paragraph and use a variety of cohesive devices and discourse markers effectively.
task achievement
Make sure the essay fully addresses all parts of the task statement without focusing unduly on one aspect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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