IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue who is supposed to take the responsibility of the disciplinary education, teachers or parents, has been heatedly discussed recently. In my opinion, only when schools and families work together, can students have a better understanding of
discipline
Suggestion
the discipline
. It is universally acknowledged that teachers should impart their academic knowledge to students,
however
Linking Words
, what should not to be ignored is that teachers can
also
Linking Words
 provide role models for students.
Although
Linking Words
 some children gain an excellent mark in their examine, those who have
behavioral
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
 problems can not succeed easily in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, somebody who cheated
in
Suggestion
on
 the test may hardly find a decent job, because he or she is unreliable and violate the rules.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is significant for teachers
to teach
Suggestion
teach
 moral principles and
behavioral
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
 norms in school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no denying that it is obligated for parents to establish some strict rules for their children, which can help these children to develop a good
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 from their childhood.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the young kids are prone to mimic their parents’
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
, so that adults need to pay more attention to their daily performance and even set a good example
to
Suggestion
for
 their kids. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the child can raise the awareness of some essential virtues
,
Accept space
,
such
Linking Words
 as honesty and integrity, which may generate huge influence in their whole life. In the view of the importance of discipline to students’ development, I firmly agree that it ought to combine the two methods to all-rounded educate children to obey the rules. Above all, with the assist of teachers and parents to form
correct sense
Suggestion
a correct sense
the correct sense
 of discipline, children not only can make a great success in the work, but
also
Linking Words
 have a meaningful life after growing up.
Submitted by yelvyan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: