Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, there has been growing concern over the fact that the
life
quality of
people
born in earlier centuries is lower than that of
people
living in the 21st century. Personally, I disagree with the given statement and
this
essay will discuss the reason why the previous
life
still is the best. As overpopulation is a global problem in modern
life
, currently
people
have a lower quality of
life
than their ancestors. Unavoidably,
people
often have many concerns about quality of
life
and habitat because of unprecedented overpopulation in the world. Owing to
this
, they have to find a place like a city, downtown or urban area to inhabit, ultimately resulting in the rise of the demand for housing and the lack of facilities
such
as hospitals and education in
life
. Sadly, in India which has a lot of slums in megacities, those authorities have to suffer from huge pressing infrastructure and services. Even their
people
usually face threats
such
as illness, employment and food. Admittedly, it is understandable why there is a belief that
life
’s standards of
this
century are not good or even worse than previous centuries. The key rationale can be referred to as the environmental status which is deteriorated by many factors. Specifically, a polluted atmosphere can cause health issues involving respiratory diseases,
while
contaminated water sources increase the possibility of getting dermatological ones. When the former is contributed by the pollutants from cars or bikes, there are
also
transportation reported to be one of the most serious factors in mortality rates. In conclusion, The
people
living in the 21st century are more concerned in comparison to their ancestors. In my view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
now can be at risk of getting a disease
due to
overpopulation in the cities.
Also
, many environmental factors involving contamination of natural resources can harm the health of
people
.
Submitted by phuocsang4567 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction clearly links to the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly, using clear examples and evidence to support your argument. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Try to maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay. At times, sections may appear contradictory or off-topic.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied conjunctions and transitions to improve the logical flow between your ideas and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help structure your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are presented in a logical sequence, enhancing the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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