Some people believe that music should be taught in school, while others think that it is best to focus on science and computer. Do you agree or Disagree?

It is often debatable that primary
education
should contain cultural arts like music, whereas most of the parents want their kids to focus more on Technical subjects like Science and computers, as World is running behind it. I agree that priority has to be given to Science.
However
, equal importance has to be given to music, as it acts as a stress-buster to young minds. It is obvious that most of the parents want their children to get succeed in the scientific areas by becoming Engineers or Doctors. To achieve
this
, they want them to get a strong foundation by focusing more on respective areas in the primary
education
itself. Due to
this
kind of learning atmosphere, students are getting strained and over-burdened.
In addition
to
this
, innovative thinking is getting diminished in them because of mugging up their studies, which is not beneficial in achieving their goals. When there is dedicated time is allotted to cultural courses like music, singing, dancing in their academic curriculum, pupils get refreshed by learning any of the cultural activity of their interest. It aids in bonding with like-minded students and
also
enhances their creativity at a tender age is itself. They can
also
pursue it as a career option if they are not able to excel in technical areas. To recapitulate, even though Technical
education
is vital in primary academics, guardians have to identify their kin's areas of interest and give parallel priority to recreation as well in their
education
. Both the School administrations and parents have to work together for their students' betterment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: