IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
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The pie charts show the amount of
revenue
Use synonyms
 and expenditures in 2016
and
Correct word choice
apply
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for a children’s charity in the USA. Calibration of
date
Correct your spelling
data
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 is done in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total amount of
income
Use synonyms
 was just enough to cover the expenditures.
Moreover
Linking Words
, donated food made the highest share
in
Change preposition
of
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 total
income
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the maximum money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
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 on program service.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, donated food provided the most of the
revenue
Use synonyms
 for the charity, at 86%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, with regard to expenditures, program services,
calculated
Add a missing verb
were calculated
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 for nearly all of the outgoings, at 95.8%. The other categories were much smaller. Community contributions were the
second
Linking Words
 largest
revenue
Use synonyms
 source,
brought
Wrong verb form
bringing
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 in 10.4% of
overall
Linking Words
income
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 was followed by program
revenue
Use synonyms
, at 2.2%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, investment
income
Use synonyms
, government grants, and other
income
Use synonyms
 were very small sources of
revenue
Use synonyms
, accounting for only 0.8% combined. There were only two other expenditure items, fundraising and management and general, with a slight difference both accounting for 2.6% and 1.6% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • charity
  • non-profit organization
  • funds
  • revenue
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising
  • expenditure
  • allocations
  • administrative costs
  • program services
  • beneficiaries
  • financial year
  • breakdown
  • percentage
  • portion
  • sector
  • philanthropy
  • budgeting
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