The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts show the amount of
revenue
Use synonyms
and expenditures in 2016
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for a children’s charity in the USA. Calibration of
date
Correct your spelling
data
show examples
is done in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total amount of
income
Use synonyms
was just enough to cover the expenditures.
Moreover
Linking Words
, donated food made the highest share
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
total
income
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
the maximum money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
on program service.
To begin
Linking Words
with, donated food provided the most of the
revenue
Use synonyms
for the charity, at 86%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, with regard to expenditures, program services,
calculated
Add a missing verb
were calculated
show examples
for nearly all of the outgoings, at 95.8%. The other categories were much smaller. Community contributions were the
second
Linking Words
largest
revenue
Use synonyms
source,
brought
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
in 10.4% of
overall
Linking Words
income
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
was followed by program
revenue
Use synonyms
, at 2.2%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, investment
income
Use synonyms
, government grants, and other
income
Use synonyms
were very small sources of
revenue
Use synonyms
, accounting for only 0.8% combined. There were only two other expenditure items, fundraising and management and general, with a slight difference both accounting for 2.6% and 1.6% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, income with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • charity
  • non-profit organization
  • funds
  • revenue
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising
  • expenditure
  • allocations
  • administrative costs
  • program services
  • beneficiaries
  • financial year
  • breakdown
  • percentage
  • portion
  • sector
  • philanthropy
  • budgeting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: