These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#cell #phones #internet #people #development

Era of technology comes with overwhelming impacts among

wide range

Suggestion

a wide range

of areas and social communication is one of these victims in which technological developments had structured problems specifically via cell phones and internet usage. In my perspective, technological leaps in

particularly

Suggestion

particular

the ones linked

with

Suggestion

mobile phones and online

world deranged

Accept comma addition

world, deranged

the equilibrium of consequences in favour of disadvantageous side. It is undeniable fact that

world

Suggestion

the world

has altered rapidly into a new age in which speed is now measured by

seconds even

Accept comma addition

seconds, even

milliseconds in favour of technological steps in terms of speed, expenditures and knowledge aspects.

For instance

, social platforms regarding a particular leisure activity

such

as South East cuisine, contains

tremendous amount

Suggestion

a tremendous amount

of information

besides

the experiences and practical advices from people who have gathered there as a consequence of common interest.

Moreover

connection

Suggestion

the connection

with a whole different knowledge rift is just simple as pressing buttons of the phones or keyboards while no monetary issues like ordering a recipe book or paying for private tutor is mentioned during

this

journey to summit of wisdom related to the Asian cuisine.

On the other hand

, dark side of the evolution through supersonic age might

also

be the leading factor among social relations that devastate personal connections

Suggestion

the way of internet and phone addiction. It can be strongly argued that today the howling

catalyser

(chemistry) a substance that initiates or accelerates a chemical reaction without itself being affected

catalyst

of social relations

stem

Suggestion

will stem

stems

from social media platforms which lack of face to face interactions and full of with cruel competition in

wide range

Suggestion

a wide range

of spectrums from luxury brands to limited edition cars. Addition to that nowadays people have become the hostile of online

virals

(virology) ultramicroscopic infectious agent that replicates itself only within cells of living hosts; many are pathogenic; a piece of nucleic acid (DNA or RNA) wrapped in a thin coat of protein

virus

viruses

which may end up cruel pranks, ignoring core values

such

as respect for family members and

last

but not least have built a tendency that people think sponging over history of a relationship is as simple as removing a friend from social media or deleting a phone number from contacts. As a conclusion, acceleration among online world and mobile phones in a communicative manner harbours some constructive and

banausic

an additional payment (or other remuneration) to employees as a means of increasing output

bonuses

features whilst the catastrophic impacts over the personal social relations override the favourable outcomes.

Mon Feb 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Housing shortage has become one of the most pressing issues in urban places. Some people argue that government action is the only way to address this challenge. I totally agree with this argument, and this will be proven by looking at how the government can make a significant difference to the housing industry.
5
band
Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
It is true that in our contemporary era, celebrities receive too much attention from media. For this reason, some people argue that this phenomena has detrimental impact on children , while others believe that It can be beneficial in many cases . In this essay , I will explicate both stances before presenting my consensus on the latter view.
7
band
Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people believe that the science of food and how to make meals should be introduced in schools while others argue that schools should offer only important subjects. I believe that the science of food and how to prepare it should be part of the school subjects as it can bring several benefits in student’s lives. Thus, this essay discusses how creating an understanding of good nutrition, health and well-being it’s important for students to support positive learning and development.
6.5
band
In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion?
It is true that sports matches and sports competitions are highly supported and broadcasted on TV almost in all societies. It is sometimes argued that this phenomenon could cause in lack of taking part in any sport by children and adolescents, and could be as discouragement means. In what follows, I will discuss this notion and will give my own perspective.
7.5
band
Prison is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree ?
Prison is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion?

Prison is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree ?