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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#cell #phones #internet #people #development
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Era of technology comes with overwhelming impacts among
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of areas and social communication is one of these victims in which technological developments had structured problems specifically via cell phones and internet usage. In my perspective, technological leaps in
particularly
Suggestion
particular
 the ones linked
with
Suggestion
to
 mobile phones and online
world deranged
Accept comma addition
world, deranged
 the equilibrium of consequences in favour of disadvantageous side. It is undeniable fact that
world
Suggestion
the world
 has altered rapidly into a new age in which speed is now measured by
seconds even
Accept comma addition
seconds, even
 milliseconds in favour of technological steps in terms of speed, expenditures and knowledge aspects.
For instance
, social platforms regarding a particular leisure activity
such
 as South East cuisine, contains
tremendous amount
Suggestion
a tremendous amount
 of information
besides
 the experiences and practical advices from people who have gathered there as a consequence of common interest.
Moreover
,
connection
Suggestion
the connection
 with a whole different knowledge rift is just simple as pressing buttons of the phones or keyboards while no monetary issues like ordering a recipe book or paying for private tutor is mentioned during
this
 journey to summit of wisdom related to the Asian cuisine.
On the other hand
, dark side of the evolution through supersonic age might
also
 be the leading factor among social relations that devastate personal connections
by
Suggestion
in
 the way of internet and phone addiction. It can be strongly argued that today the howling
catalyser
(chemistry) a substance that initiates or accelerates a chemical reaction without itself being affected
catalyst
 of social relations
stem
Suggestion
will stem
stems
 from social media platforms which lack of face to face interactions and full of with cruel competition in
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of spectrums from luxury brands to limited edition cars. Addition to that nowadays people have become the hostile of online
virals
(virology) ultramicroscopic infectious agent that replicates itself only within cells of living hosts; many are pathogenic; a piece of nucleic acid (DNA or RNA) wrapped in a thin coat of protein
virus
viruses
 which may end up cruel pranks, ignoring core values
such
 as respect for family members and
last
 but not least have built a tendency that people think sponging over history of a relationship is as simple as removing a friend from social media or deleting a phone number from contacts. As a conclusion, acceleration among online world and mobile phones in a communicative manner harbours some constructive and
banausic
an additional payment (or other remuneration) to employees as a means of increasing output
bonuses
 features whilst the catastrophic impacts over the personal social relations override the favourable outcomes.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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