IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

QUESTION: Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Spending a humongous
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on marriage nuptials has become a trend nowadays. Whereas a portion of society considers
this
Linking Words
 as an avoidable expense.
Although
Linking Words
 marriage once in a lifetime activity and the people spend
money
Use synonyms
 to make it memorable, I strongly believe the
money
Use synonyms
 can be utilized in creating assets that will help the newlywed couple to start the new life. To embark with, people who tend to spend a huge
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on wedding ceremonies do
this
Linking Words
 as they want to make
this
Linking Words
 event extraordinary. Marriage is considered as a holy relationship between two souls and
thus
Linking Words
,
masses
Suggestion
the masses
 want to celebrate the occasion in
such
Linking Words
 a way that lovely memories will cherish them forever.
For instance
Linking Words
, wearing costly designer clothes, purchasing lavish
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
 and exchanging valuable gifts makes people feel happy and believe the ceremony was an unforgettable experience. Indeed, the predominant reason why people spend enormous
money
Use synonyms
 on wedding nuptials because they not only want to make the event
exceptional but
Accept comma addition
exceptional, but
also
Linking Words
 to create memories that will stay with them lifelong.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 being spent on a lavish wedding can be utilized to create assets that will not only help the couple to start a new life but
also
Linking Words
 make them financially independent.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Instead
Linking Words
 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on perishable things to make wedding royal, we can utilize the funds in buying things that will make our future financially secure.
For instance
Linking Words
, buying a new house, purchasing a car or starting a new business, which will provide a stable start to the newlyweds as well as make them economically strong. Clearly, it is worth saving the
amount
Use synonyms
 for the future rather than spending the same
money
Use synonyms
 for the enjoyment of a couple of days. In conclusion, I am certain that spending a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on marriage ceremonies is not wise as it does not create much value,
instead
Linking Words
 one should focus on building assets from that
money
Use synonyms
 to help themselves in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • finite resources
  • economic strain
  • memorable
  • commitment
  • social status
  • tangible assets
  • imprudent
  • extravagance
  • meaningful
  • financial strain
  • moderate budget
  • unforgettable experience
  • allocated
  • unnecessary
What to do next:
Look at other essays: