IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

QUESTION: Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#people #money #ceremonies #viewpoints
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Spending a humongous
amount
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 of
money
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 on marriage nuptials has become a trend nowadays. Whereas a portion of society considers
this
Linking Words
 as an avoidable expense.
Although
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 marriage once in a lifetime activity and the people spend
money
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 to make it memorable, I strongly believe the
money
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 can be utilized in creating assets that will help the newlywed couple to start the new life. To embark with, people who tend to spend a huge
amount
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 of
money
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 on wedding ceremonies do
this
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 as they want to make
this
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 event extraordinary. Marriage is considered as a holy relationship between two souls and
thus
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,
masses
Suggestion
the masses
 want to celebrate the occasion in
such
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 a way that lovely memories will cherish them forever.
For instance
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, wearing costly designer clothes, purchasing lavish
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
 and exchanging valuable gifts makes people feel happy and believe the ceremony was an unforgettable experience. Indeed, the predominant reason why people spend enormous
money
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 on wedding nuptials because they not only want to make the event
exceptional but
Accept comma addition
exceptional, but
also
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 to create memories that will stay with them lifelong.
On the other hand
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, the
amount
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 being spent on a lavish wedding can be utilized to create assets that will not only help the couple to start a new life but
also
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 make them financially independent.
In other words
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,
Instead
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 of spending
money
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 on perishable things to make wedding royal, we can utilize the funds in buying things that will make our future financially secure.
For instance
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, buying a new house, purchasing a car or starting a new business, which will provide a stable start to the newlyweds as well as make them economically strong. Clearly, it is worth saving the
amount
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 for the future rather than spending the same
money
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 for the enjoyment of a couple of days. In conclusion, I am certain that spending a lot of
money
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 on marriage ceremonies is not wise as it does not create much value,
instead
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 one should focus on building assets from that
money
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 to help themselves in the future.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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