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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Research has shown that spending much less time in workplace can reduce the use of energy. Thus, some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

#research #time #workplace #energy #companies #week #development
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In recent years, our working environments have been changed dramatically. Some research has shown that spending less time in the workplace can reduce energy usage. And I
also
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 strongly agree with
this
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 opinion for two reasons.
Firstly
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, employees can
work
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 in better circumstances. From a better
work
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-life balance, workers can rest more and
this
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 can lead to increased job satisfaction.
Also
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, higher productivity
due to
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 rest cannot be ignored. From my experience, I used to study a lot during the exam period. I studied Monday to Sunday without resting.
This
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 made me feel exhausted and more anxious. Of course, I did not get a good grade because of high stress.
Secondly
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, closing
companies
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 for some
days
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 a week can reduce operational costs. People use a lot of water and supplies in the office when they
work
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. Let's say we
work
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 4
days
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 and rest 3
days
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 a week.
Then
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 we can save 12
days
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' worth of food, electricity, etc per month.
This
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 will make our
companies
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 more sustainable and financially stable. In conclusion, closing
companies
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 for more
days
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 can make our
companies
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 more sustainable thanks to reduced usage of resources. From the perspective of well-being, employees can enjoy more of their free time and perform better productivity when they are back to
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ihjung2000 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed with examples and explanations. The example given about study habits is relevant, but more details to connect with the main topic could strengthen the response.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to ensure a smooth transition between ideas. More demonstrative linkers like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'as a result' could help enhance the flow of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Main points are clearly stated and generally supported with examples, such as the personal study experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Carbon footprint
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Productivity
  • Operational costs
  • Flexible work arrangements
  • Remote work
  • Compressed work weeks
  • Innovation
  • Client demands
  • Inequality
  • Implementation
  • Community economic impact
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