IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Problem /Solution Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. -What do you think are the causes of this? - What solution can you suggest?

#illnesses #-what
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People are increasingly suffering from sickness
as a result
Linking Words
 of
stress
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will discuss the main causes of
stress
Use synonyms
-related sic
kness including lo
Accept comma addition
sickness, including
n
ger wo
Suggestion
long
rking hour and increased job pressure.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 suggest solutions to these pro
blems including im
Accept comma addition
problems, including
provement one’s
work
Use synonyms
 life balance
diet
Use synonyms
. People place themselves under these unf
avorable co
not encouraging or approving or pleasing
unfavourable
nditions because the workforce is a competitive domain
For example
Linking Words
, some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain status and a high paying job.
This
Linking Words
 often results in mental and physical suffering because they have to
work
Use synonyms
 overtime and take on additional roles which can be stressful. Some people believe that eventually jobs will be by artificially intelligent robots. Monitoring a good
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and improving one’s
diet
Use synonyms
 are both critical to mitigating
stress
Use synonyms
 related illnesses. People need to realize that if they live only for
work
Use synonyms
 they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor
diet
Use synonyms
 will
further
Linking Words
 exacerbate these issues.
For example
Linking Words
, many employees burn out from working too much and neglecting family, friends, exercise and hobbies as well as the foods they eat.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to reduce
work
Use synonyms
 one must include a better ration of
work
Use synonyms
, rest, recreation and dietary sustenance. In conclusion, in today’s fast paced world more and more people are becoming ill
as a result
Linking Words
 of
stress
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 discussed how
stress
Use synonyms
 is often caused by long working hours and intense workplace pressure.
Thu
Linking Words
s
Suggestion
This
essay
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 suggested that the solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem are twofold: to manage a better
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and to eat a healthier
diet
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: