A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, a concerning trend has emerged as fewer and fewer pupils choose
science
Use synonyms
majors at universities around the world. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
phenomenon is caused by the lower salaries and terrible working conditions faced by
scientists
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a
society
Use synonyms
without sufficient
scientists
Use synonyms
struggles to develop its technology because of the lack of scientific research. First of all,
scientists
Use synonyms
’ incomes can not afford a qualified life for people nowadays and they endure the high pressure of laboratories.
Thus
Linking Words
, students have lower motivation to study
science
Use synonyms
subjects which are likely to become their career in the future.
According to
Linking Words
a report in 2022 released by the Taiwan Nation Labor Agency, the revenue of
scientists
Use synonyms
increased only 1% in the current three years, but the economic inflation was 3%. In brief, teenagers are less attracted to
science
Use synonyms
subjects
due to
Linking Words
their financial expectations for the future
Consequently
Linking Words
, limited people contribute to the
science
Use synonyms
fields and that leads to most industries not progressing in
society
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a country could lose the ability to compete with others and face economic challenges in the following years.
For example
Linking Words
, plastic companies depend on chemistry
scientists
Use synonyms
to research innovative techniques to improve their production.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, their products faded from the market. In brief, the number of students whose majors in
science
Use synonyms
are not sufficient
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has a long-term influence on
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, students' motivation for choosing
science
Use synonyms
subjects is influenced by the potential situation of jobs in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, how many people are devoted to scientific research
also
Linking Words
affects the improvement of
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure. Sentences and paragraphs need to flow together better to guide the reader through your argument. Use linking words and cohesive devices effectively to improve the connection between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, both could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the reasons and effects you will discuss, and the conclusion needs to succinctly summarize your main arguments without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are present but not fully developed. Include more detailed explanations and expand on why reduced interest in science subjects leads to specific societal consequences. This expansion will support your main points more convincingly.
Task Achievement
Your response to the task is not fully complete. Ensure that you explore both the reasons and effects as the question asks. Consider including a wider range of reasons for the lack of interest in science subjects and discuss more varied effects on society.
Task Achievement
The clarity of ideas could be improved. Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses one main idea and is fully explained. Avoid making broad or unsubstantiated statements.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples is weak. Strengthen your argument by incorporating relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples should be clear and directly related to the argument you're making.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • perceived difficulty
  • lack of exposure
  • higher earning potential
  • technological advancement
  • healthcare implications
  • economic consequences
  • educational reforms
  • inspiration
  • early education
  • job security
  • innovation
  • medical advancements
  • scientific expertise
  • shortages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: