A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?
In recent years, a concerning trend has emerged as fewer and fewer pupils choose
science
majors at universities around the world. In my opinion, this
phenomenon is caused by the lower salaries and terrible working conditions faced by scientists
. Consequently
, a society
without sufficient scientists
struggles to develop its technology because of the lack of scientific research.
First of all, scientists
’ incomes can not afford a qualified life for people nowadays and they endure the high pressure of laboratories. Thus
, students have lower motivation to study science
subjects which are likely to become their career in the future. According to
a report in 2022 released by the Taiwan Nation Labor Agency, the revenue of scientists
increased only 1% in the current three years, but the economic inflation was 3%. In brief, teenagers are less attracted to science
subjects due to
their financial expectations for the future
Consequently
, limited people contribute to the science
fields and that leads to most industries not progressing in society
. Therefore
, a country could lose the ability to compete with others and face economic challenges in the following years. For example
, plastic companies depend on chemistry scientists
to research innovative techniques to improve their production. Otherwise
, their products faded from the market. In brief, the number of students whose majors in science
are not sufficient,
has a long-term influence on Remove the comma
apply
society
.
In conclusion, students' motivation for choosing science
subjects is influenced by the potential situation of jobs in the future. Furthermore
, how many people are devoted to scientific research also
affects the improvement of society
.Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure. Sentences and paragraphs need to flow together better to guide the reader through your argument. Use linking words and cohesive devices effectively to improve the connection between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, both could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the reasons and effects you will discuss, and the conclusion needs to succinctly summarize your main arguments without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points are present but not fully developed. Include more detailed explanations and expand on why reduced interest in science subjects leads to specific societal consequences. This expansion will support your main points more convincingly.
Task Achievement
Your response to the task is not fully complete. Ensure that you explore both the reasons and effects as the question asks. Consider including a wider range of reasons for the lack of interest in science subjects and discuss more varied effects on society.
Task Achievement
The clarity of ideas could be improved. Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses one main idea and is fully explained. Avoid making broad or unsubstantiated statements.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples is weak. Strengthen your argument by incorporating relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples should be clear and directly related to the argument you're making.
Your opinion
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