IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be what do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer

#families
Earlier the relations between people and personal Bond was strong and undisputable but at present the scenario is changed opposite which is evident it cannot be shunned that different personalities living under one roof are not as close as they used to be the causes and solution will be highlighted for
this
 before reaching to final conclusion Inclusion of innovative technological gadgets
such
 as mobiles laptop and many more are drawing a huge gap between families in the community people communicate with
this
 kind of gadgets with their families that do not conveys the emotion which neither improve the relation nor the bond between people.
For instance
 mobile used to communicate with people but can end up with personal conflicts because it do not share our convey feelings that people show another cogent cause is people having hectic schedule due to heavy work pressure people are not able to spend time with the family and relatives in order to earn money people do not look the happiness that family needs which can wreck the relationship in the family the dominance of
this
 can be seen in children's living in families who sometimes feels isolated if attention is not given by the family
Conversely
 there are some possible solutions which can make the family closer as they used to be in the past
first
 and foremost to is sharing some valuable time with family which helps people to understand different personalities
as a result
 it can attenuate the family differences taking holiday from the work and visiting different vacation places will make them more happy which will make the bond and relation stronger On the whole to avoid conflicts and to mitigate the family problems , they should spend time with each othes which will decrease the family disputes
moreover
 attention should be given to the children to cultivate their happiness.
Submitted by bhaumik7766 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: