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Writing Samples
Band 6

According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourist in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happen? How was tourism different in the past?

#travel #magazine #tourists #holiday #resort #tourist #home #culture #happen #tourism
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Recent polls show that
,
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,
 tourists prefer to remain in holiday residents when they travel to foreign countries
also
, they have not
tendency
Suggestion
tended
 to getting to know new culture of destination where they go compare to tourists were in six decades ago. I believe that, there are
wide variety
Suggestion
a wide variety
 of causes tourists do not desire
to possess new
Suggestion
to possess a new
 experience of resort culture.
Firstly
,
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,
 nowadays most of the hotels and residents have satisfaction services and luxury equipments because of that, the visitors prefer to stay in their residents.
For example
, there are plenty of modern building with particular services in Dubai and remarkable people are eager to spend leisure time inside of residents.
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
, due to the hectic
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 of
people in
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people, in
fact most
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fact, most
 of individuals are so busy and if they can find any spare time I think, staying at hotel is the best
chose
the person or thing chosen or selected
choice
 for them. On the other hands
,
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,
it
look
Suggestion
looked
looks
 like in the past people were more brave
,
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,
 because of
this
,
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,
 they packed their bags and started
new adventure
Suggestion
a new adventure
 easily
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 the new places
.
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.
they
Suggestion
They
 use to economical journey and the main target of them
were visiting
Suggestion
was visiting
 a
strange spectacular
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strange, spectacular
 scenery and found out new cultures word wide. Of
course
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course, such
such
 sore of travel is not popular these days
,
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,
nevertheless if
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nevertheless, if
 anyone has enough cordage
to go
Suggestion
going
 on
adventure
Suggestion
an adventure
adventures
,
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,
 they will not regret of their action. In conclusion
,
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,
 for the reasons mentioned above, today’s most of visitors are more comfortable to remain in
resort
Suggestion
the resort
 and it is naturally they do not learn new things
of
Suggestion
about
 other cultures. I believe that the roles of government and tourist agency are really significant to convince of visitors to watch tourist attractions like people who
traveled
traveled over or through; sometimes used as a combining term
travelled
 in the past.
Submitted by jalalkhodaveisi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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