According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourist in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happen? How was tourism different in the past?

#travel #magazine #tourists #holiday #resort #tourist #home #culture #happen #tourism

Recent polls show that tourists prefer to remain in holiday residents when they travel to foreign countries

also

, they have not

tendency

Suggestion

tended

to getting to know new culture of destination where they go compare to tourists were in six decades ago. I believe that, there

Suggestion

are

wide variety

Suggestion

a wide variety

of causes tourists do not desire to possess a new experience of resort culture.

Firstly

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nowadays most of the hotels and residents have satisfaction services and luxury equipments because of that, the visitors prefer to stay in their residents.

For example

, there are plenty of modern building with particular services in Dubai and remarkable people are eager to spend leisure time inside of residents.

secondly

Suggestion

Secondly

, due to the hectic lifestyle of

people in

Accept comma addition

people, in

fact, most of individuals are so busy and if they can find any spare time I think, staying at hotel is the best

choise

the person or thing chosen or selected

choice

course

choices

for them. On the other hands, it

looks

Suggestion

looked

like in the past people were more brave

Accept space

because of

this

Accept space

they packed their bags and started

new adventure

Suggestion

a new adventure

easily into the a new

places

Suggestion

place

Accept space

They use to economical journey and the main target of them was visiting a

strange spectacular

Accept comma addition

strange, spectacular

scenery and found out new cultures word wide. Of

course

Accept comma addition

course, such

such

sore of travel is not popular these days,

nevertheless if

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nevertheless, if

anyone has enough cordage to going adventure

Accept space

they will not regret of their action. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, today’s most of visitors are more comfortable to remain in the resort and it is naturally they do not learn new things about other cultures. I believe that the roles of government and tourist agency are really significant to convince of visitors to watch tourist attractions like people who travelled in the past.

Submitted by jalalkhodaveisi on Tue Feb 04 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourist in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happen? How was tourism different in the past?

Fully explain your ideas

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