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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of inquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. In January and February, the
number
Use synonyms
 of inquiries received by
telephone
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the numbers
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
900 and 800 respectively, are much higher than the inquiries received by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
 (600 and 700) and in person (780 and 420). As far as March is concerned, again
inquires
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 receives by
telephone
Use synonyms
 with the
number
Use synonyms
 of 1000 are higher than the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
 (700) and in person (800).
However
Linking Words
, as compared to
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 two months,
this
Linking Words
 time the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
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 are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 than the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 in-person. The same trend can be seen in April, May and June. The
enquiries
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 received
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in person, i.e., 1250, 1550 and 1900 respectively, are more than the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by
telephone
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 (1000, 1400 and 1900) and by
letter
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/
email
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 (580, 380 and 380).
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an increased
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquiries
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 received
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in-person and by
telephone
Use synonyms
 and there is a decline in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by
letter
Use synonyms
/
email
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, telephone, letter, email, enquiries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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