Adults do very less exercise these days. Some people think that showing sporting events on the television such as Olympics and World Cup tournaments can be the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Others believe there are other effective ways to do so. Discuss both views and state your opinion

Nowadays
grown
Verb problem
apply
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ups
Correct your spelling
grown-ups
show examples
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
less. It is considered by some people that the appropriate way to persuade
adults
to
exercise
is by making them watch
sports
like
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
and
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Cup on TV,
whereas
others think there are much better methods. In my opinion,I feel creating
health
awareness
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the elderly and regular
health
checkups motivates them to
exercise
. On the one hand, watching their favourite player in a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
event usually tends people to be more like them. In order to be physically fit like
sports
celebrities one has to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
.
In addition
to it,the
adults
who were active in
sports
years ago
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
would feel motivated to play seeing some games.
On the other hand
, there are
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many other ways to encourage
adults
to
exercise
. One way is to provide a
health
awareness campaign for elderly people to keep them updated on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health
issues
while
another method is
my
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
conducting frequent
health
checkups.
Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
show examples
to stay healthy the
adults
will be motivated by themselves to
exercise
without any external pressure.
Finally
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I feel
self motivation
Add a hyphen
self-motivation
show examples
is the best way to encourage an adult to
exercise
and stay fit.
This
for some can be achieved by watching a
sports
event
while
for others it might be through monitoring their
health
.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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