The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign students being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
third
-year foreign students
being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college.
Overall
, among four Asian
countries
( China, Sir Lanka, Malaysia, Sigapore
) and one European country ( France), female Correct your spelling
Singapore
students
were more than male students
.
The large portion of foreign students
in this
computer science department was from China, 18 students
Change preposition
in totally
totally
; Change the word
total
while
, the least amount of students
was
from France, 5 Change the verb form
were
students
. The total students
from Correct quantifier usage
number of students
Sigapore
were equal to those from Sri Lanka, total Correct your spelling
Singapore
12
Change preposition
of 12
students
, which occupied the second
place. Following the two countries
, there was Malaysia with total 11
Change preposition
of 11
students
, in the third
spot.
A close look at the chart reveals that female students
from the four Asian
countries
were more interested in studying Networking
Correct article usage
the Networking
course
; while
, there is no French female student studying this
course
. Around one
Add a hyphen
one-third
third
of total Asian
female students
studied this
courses.
On Correct determiner usage
these
opposite
side, all male Add an article
the opposite
students
enjoyed learning Databse
Correct your spelling
Database
course
, especially those from these four Asian
countries
. Among nine Chinese male students
, eight were enrolled in Correct article usage
the Databse
Databse
Correct your spelling
Database
course
. Six out of eight male students
from Sri Lanka studies this
course
. The number of male students
from Singapore, Malaysia and France were
4, 3 and 1 respectively. Only about 10-20% of male Change the verb form
was
students
studies
Networking Change the verb form
study
course
.Submitted by busybee1693 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "third, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, asian, countries, course with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼