IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below are existing and proposed floor plans for the redevelopment of an art gallery.

#diagrams #floor #plans #redevelopment #art #gallery
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The given illustrations depict an existing art gallery at Parkinson Court
as well as
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 a proposal to make drastic renovations to it.
Overall
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, the plan has a larger exhibition space with a newly attached entrance, an educational
area
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 and a special exhibition zone that will be added to a previously unused section. Focusing on the east end of the facility where there is currently a lobby with the main entryway and an office room. In the suggested blueprint, not only has the entranceway been walled off, but both the former rooms have been altered to accommodate an education-based
area
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 that has a small storage and plant room on the south
side
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. Turning attention towards the main
area
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 which presently consists of both temporary and permanent spaces for exhibitions. In the presented plan, the entire
area
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 will be utilized for permanent exhibitions with a larger entrance located on the north
side
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.
Finally
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, there is an
area
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 on the western
side
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 of the building
that is
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 not included in the current art gallery.
However
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, if the proposed redevelopment goes through,
this
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 whole
side
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 will be used for special exhibitions with another storage space on the north.
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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task and covered all the main features of the existing and proposed floor plans. To push towards a higher score, you might want to include more specific details regarding the new layout, such as the orientation or exact sizes of the spaces where applicable.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is very well-organized, with clear and logical progression. However, you can improve cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the description well for the reader.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and detailed, providing a comprehensive picture of the changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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