IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: thank him for the invitation mention why you can not attend the birthday party offer to meet him some other day Write at least 150 words.

#friend #lives #city #daughter #birthday #invitation #party #offer
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The graph represents the
number
 of international
students
, who studied at North Dean University from 1999 to 2003. Overall,
Chinese
 and Indian
students
’ enrollment gradually increased for the given
period
 of time, whereas
Japanese
students
’
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 experienced a downward trend. In 2001,
Japanese
students
’ registration at North Dean University decreased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 its lowest point, where their
number
 declined from 110 to 30 learners. According to
graph
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the graph
show examples
,
Chinese
 learners constituted about 53% of
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number
 of international
students
 at the end of the
period
. In 2001,
Chinese
 and
Japanese
students
’ quantities were equal.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 represents, Indian learners got accepted at North Dean University about 15
students
 at the beginning of the
period
.
However
,
this
 trend has increased to 78
students
 at the end of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2003. In 1999,
although
 Indian and
Chinese
 numbers were lower than
Japanese
students
, they are managed to increase their applicants’
number
 about 4 times higher than it was
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
. Their learners’ numbers were 78 and 98, respectively.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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