IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a contentious debate about whether university
students
Use synonyms
 should choose a subject based on their willingness or have a regulation to guide some
students
Use synonyms
 into the
fields
Use synonyms
 with socioeconomic advantages. I believe a balanced approach might be a better solution to answer individual interests
while
Linking Words
 aligning with societal needs. On the one hand, maintaining an environment that allows pursuing majors out of passion contributes to fostering innovative and motivational academic approaches in all areas
besides
Linking Words
 individual fulfilment.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 improvement, creativity rockets and helps deepen knowledge across various
fields
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 with competence, talents, and skills to work on expanding AI utilization may come up with some ground-breaking ideas because of the intrinsic motivation they have to continue their profession,
whereas
Linking Words
 obligating them to study other aspects of science would not have the same result.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advocates of focusing on
fields
Use synonyms
 with profound benefits to the economy and society approach believe that, particularly in an era of rapid technological advancements, subjects
such
Linking Words
 as computer science, engineering, and biotechnology have a fundamental role in driving innovation, solving national and global challenges and bringing substantial eco-societal growth. With
this
Linking Words
 perspective, spotted weaknesses and gaps in different
fields
Use synonyms
 can be worked on to ensure sustainable developments over time.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a nation is in conflict to solve some financial issues, having some graduates with expertise in financial problems can help to solve them and prevent forthcoming potential threads in that area. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 national priorities in science, technology, and other areas are essential for
further
Linking Words
 future progression, restricting
students
Use synonyms
 solely to these
fields
Use synonyms
 would put academic freedom in danger. A multidisciplinary approach, which brings in opportunities for
students
Use synonyms
 to chase their interests
while
Linking Words
 recognizing the importance of holistic education, might be the most advantageous.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay explores both views effectively, providing further development in some areas could enhance the depth of analysis. For instance, you could expand on how allowing students to choose freely could impact certain industries or societal aspects more broadly.
coherence cohesion
Some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother. You might consider using more varied linking words and phrases to create seamless connections between paragraphs. This can enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion, addressing the prompt directly and strongly integrating your personal opinion.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, providing relevant examples and clear reasoning. This shows a good balance of perspectives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: