IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

#students #school #money
It is true that young people graduate from high school without le
aning h
the cognitive process of acquiring skill or knowledge
learning
ow to manage their personal finances. There are several reasons for
this
problem
 and various measures can be taken by educational institutions and family to improve the situation.
Firstly
, educational institutes ha
ve t
Suggestion
has
he most powerful influence on children’s development, but in nowadays, most of all schools do not teach young students personal
money
 management.
In addition
, most students do not need to work to earn
money
 due to the fact that school boards focus on science subject or social studies, so children do not learn earning and spend
money
.
Second
, many children rely on allowance from their parents;
therefore
, they do not understand about the realities of earning and saving
money
.
For instance
, young children usually receive amounts of pocket-
money
 from their parent without realizing that how to earn that
money
;
this
 will have a negative impact on the way children spend
money
 in the future. The way to solve
this
problem
 is that academic institutions should equip their students with the knowledge and skills to manage their personal finances.
For example
, schools need to give basic
money
 management lessons as a compulsory subject for students. Another solution is parents should educate their children on
this
 matter at home because parents play a vital role in teaching their children how to spend
money
. To illustrate, parents can give their children an amount of
money
 when they travel;
therefore
, young people have to manage their personal budget.
This
 solution helps young children to become more financially dependent, and they can avoid overspending
money
.
Furthermore
, young people will be better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life. In conclusion,
although
 personal
money
 management is a
problem
 for the majority of school leavers, there are
also
 some measures to solve
this
problem
.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: