Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

To what extent the rich
people
are richer than the relatively poorer
people
would be salient enough to affect
people
’s perception of whether or not they are leading a happy life?
This
topic has always been under intensive discussion among researchers from economics and social studies.
While
I suppose no one would deny the fact that income
differences
are inevitable in any
society
due to
the
differences
of
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in
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contribution made by each
individuals
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individual
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, the
differences
are
however
, from my point of view, should be kept
in
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within
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a reasonable range or
otherwise
it would create a series of social problems, namely a less happy
society
.
Although the
Correct word choice
The
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absolute value of household
wealth
will directly affect the level of happiness of a family as it determines their disposable amount and
therefore
their living standard.
However
, human
societies
are much more complex than separate individual households. Comparing in between each other is one of the many things that everyone naturally does and may cause emotional consequences if the
differences
of
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in
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household
wealth
are too big. Take the United States
for example
, it has long been scolded by economists and social scientists that the US
societies
are stratified into too many levels in which 80% of the
wealth
is in the hands of only 10% of the entire national population.
As a consequence
, a lot of the crimes, including kidnap and robbery
in particular
, would take place because of an ill mindset of revenging
to
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apply
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the rich
people
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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in the communities where larger
differences
of
wealth
are spotted.
Besides
the abovementioned potential emotional impacts, the unreasonably big gaps of social
wealth
might bring other negative influences, which could be even more profound and detrimental, to the
societies
. When the majority of the money is in the hands of the top levels of the pyramid in a
society
, it would jeopardize the rightfulness of the
decision making
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decision-making
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process in the
societies
in that the policies may favour the rich groups rather than the majority of the
populations
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population
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. Hong Kong is a typical city
that is
rich and developed in general but suffers from severe inequity
of
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in
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wealth
distributions. In recent years
in particular
, the
majorities
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majority
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of the
people
found the government only made policies that were in favour of the big companies and real-estate industry despite that they might be in conflict with the
well-beings
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well-being
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of the majority.
This
has led to a less happy
society
in Hong Kong, which gave rise to increased protests and even strikes in the affected industries.
Although
it is unnecessary and unrealistic for
societies
to eliminate the
differences
in
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apply
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between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rich
people
and poorer ones, it does not mean that we should tolerate these
differences
to be exaggeratively big as it will bring a series of severe social problems that may lead to an unstable and unhappy
society
.

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Task Response
Well done on addressing the prompt and providing a clear stance on the issue. Your arguments are relevant and supported with examples from real-world situations. Consider providing a stronger connection between the introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence.
Task Response
Clear stance on the issue
Task Response
Relevant real-world examples

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • distribution of wealth
  • social cohesion
  • social unrest
  • crime rates
  • economic equality
  • overall well-being
  • health outcomes
  • education outcomes
  • motivation
  • innovation
  • equal opportunities
  • wealth redistribution
  • economic growth
  • productivity
What to do next:
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