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Writing Samples
Band 6

19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

#world #advance #computer #jobs #lear
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With the industrialization, a tremendous amount of occupations has been replaced by computer-programmed technology.
This
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 has resulted in serous outcomes in all socioeconomic sectors around the world. The essay will discuss three of these problems which may cause negative impacts on our societies.
Firstly
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, using high-tech in factories will p
roduct
Suggestion
produce
producing
more profit for business tycoons and lead to more ordinary citizens living in poverty. Under the t
echnologic
based in scientific and industrial progress
technological
advance, robots or digital equipments  not only increase production but
also
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 replace many l
abor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
workers. 
For example
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, many auto-motor magnates have made huge profits by using computer -software robot hands to improve their production.
As a result
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, many labour workers in their plants have been laid off and suffer from financial difficulties and become poorer.  Except worsening poverty, the development of computer technology
also
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 has triggered the change of workforce markets worldwide. Not only blue-collar jobs but
also
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 white-collar ones have been removed in the job markets.
For example
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, in many high-class restaurants in Korea, robots have been used to replace their waiters and provide entertainment to their customers as well. 
Finally
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, advanced technological machines will worsen living environments. In factories, they consume a large proportion of electrical energy. In order to meet their demand, more harmful gases will be released into the atmosphere while generating more electricity.
This
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 leads to more air pollutions in our living habitat on earth. In conclusion, high-tech industrialization worldwide has created many drawbacks for human beings and societies. These drawbacks include worsening poverty, removing certain occupations, and producing more environmental pollution.
However
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, all these drawbacks are limited and the benefits produced by high-tech overweight the drawbacks because the general benefits have improved the quality and quantity of our daily lives.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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