19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

With

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

industrialization, a tremendous amount of occupations

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been replaced by computer-programmed technology.

This

Linking Words

has resulted in

serous

Correct your spelling

serious

show examples

outcomes in all socioeconomic sectors around the world. The essay will discuss three of these problems which may

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative impacts on our societies.

Firstly

Linking Words

, using high-tech in factories will

product

Replace the word

produce

show examples

more profit for business tycoons and lead to more ordinary citizens living in poverty.

Under

Change preposition

With

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologic

Replace the word

technological

show examples

advance, robots or digital

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

not only increase production but

also

Linking Words

replace many

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

workers.

For example

Linking Words

, many auto-motor magnates have made huge profits by using computer -software robot hands to improve their production.

As a result

Linking Words

, many labour workers in their plants have been laid off

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

suffer from financial difficulties and become poorer.

Except

Change preposition

Besides

show examples

worsening poverty, the development of computer technology

also

Linking Words

has triggered

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

change

Change preposition

show examples

workforce markets worldwide. Not only blue-collar jobs but

also

Linking Words

white-collar ones have been removed

Change preposition

from

show examples

the job

markets

Fix the agreement mistake

market

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in many high-class restaurants in Korea, robots have been used to replace their waiters and provide entertainment to their customers as well.

Finally

Linking Words

, advanced technological machines will worsen living environments. In factories, they consume a large proportion of electrical energy. In order to meet their demand, more harmful gases will be released into the atmosphere

while

Linking Words

generating more electricity.

This

Linking Words

leads to more air

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

in our living habitat on

earth

Capitalize word

Earth

show examples

. In conclusion, high-tech industrialization worldwide has created many

drawbacks

Use synonyms

for human beings and societies. These

drawbacks

Use synonyms

include worsening poverty, removing certain occupations, and producing more environmental pollution.

However

Linking Words

, all these

drawbacks

Use synonyms

are limited and the benefits produced by high-tech overweight the

drawbacks

Use synonyms

because the general benefits have improved the quality and quantity of our daily lives.

busybee1693Thu Feb 06 2020

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction and summarize it well in the conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Try to use more straightforward examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.

language accuracy

Be careful with grammar and word choice. For example, 'serious' instead of 'serous' and 'pollution' instead of 'pollutions' will make your writing more correct.

task achievement

You have identified important problems caused by technology, which is a relevant topic for discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that mass media only bring negative effect to society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

you are taking a course at a local college The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. write a letter to your lecturer in your letter. . intrduce yourself . explain why you haven't handed in the project yet. .request more about it.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.