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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #effort #health #education #lessons #school #curriculum
In today's people are facing of obesity.
This
 problem is becoming
more intensity
Suggestion
more intense
. There are lots of factors behind
this
 issue.
First
 of all, in today's modern
world people
Suggestion
world, people
world person's
world person's person's
 intake frequently junk
food
, soft drinks. The junk
food
mostly contain
Suggestion
mostly contains
 high fat
calories
Accept comma addition
calories, therefore
therefore
, they are going prone of obesity.
Besides
, obesity cause of lots of diseases.
Secondly
, nowadays people are going to much
lethargic just
Accept comma addition
lethargic, just
 because of technology because of, young generation spend their time on social media platform, rather than going at gym, since they are not
mor
used to form the comparative of some adjectives and adverbs
more
 physically active
,
Accept space
,
hence
 of that they are going prone of overweight.
However
, there are numerous of remedies of
this
 problem
such
 as government should implement
high tax
Suggestion
a high tax
high taxes
 on junk
food
.
Furthermore
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should build public parks, healthcare centre and provide many other facilities which must relate about health. Apart of that, individuals should take care their self and do some
physically
Suggestion
physical
 exercise and eat healthy foods. To summarise, fast
food
 and unhealthy
dily
every day; without missing a day
daily
 routine are
cause
Suggestion
a cause
 of overweight.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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