The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #effort #health #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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In today's people are facing of obesity.

This

Linking Words

problem is becoming

more intensity

Suggestion

more intense

. There are lots of factors behind

this

Linking Words

issue.

First

Linking Words

of all, in today's modern

world people

Suggestion

world, people

world person's

world person's person's

intake frequently junk

food

Use synonyms

, soft drinks. The junk

food

Use synonyms

mostly contain

Suggestion

mostly contains

high fat

calories

Accept comma addition

calories, therefore

therefore

Linking Words

, they are going prone of obesity.

Besides

Linking Words

, obesity cause of lots of diseases.

Secondly

Linking Words

, nowadays people are going to much

lethargic just

Accept comma addition

lethargic, just

because of technology because of, young generation spend their time on social media platform, rather than going at gym, since they are not

mor

used to form the comparative of some adjectives and adverbs

physically active

Accept space

hence

Linking Words

of that they are going prone of overweight.

However

Linking Words

, there are numerous of remedies of

this

Linking Words

problem

such

Linking Words

as government should implement

high tax

Suggestion

a high tax

high taxes

on junk

food

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

government

Suggestion

the government

should build public parks, healthcare centre and provide many other facilities which must relate about health. Apart of that, individuals should take care their self and do some

physically

Suggestion

physical

exercise and eat healthy foods. To summarise, fast

food

Use synonyms

and unhealthy

dily

every day; without missing a day

daily

routine are

cause

Suggestion

a cause

of overweight.

Thu Feb 06 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

165 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, many people find it difficult to balance their work and personal lives. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees achieve a better work-life balance?

Maths plays a vital role in a business' success. Agree/disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

you have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that we booked by the organiser of a company. write a letter to the organiser of the meeting and include, details about the meeting, the problem you face and what should be done.