The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's people are facing of obesity.
This
problem is becoming
more intensity
Suggestion
more intense
. There are lots of factors behind
this
issue.
First
of all, in today's modern
world people
Suggestion
world, people
world person's
world person's person's
intake frequently junk
food
, soft drinks. The junk
food
mostly contain
Suggestion
mostly contains
high fat
calories
Accept comma addition
calories, therefore
therefore
, they are going prone of obesity.
Besides
, obesity cause of lots of diseases.
Secondly
, nowadays people are going to much
lethargic just
Accept comma addition
lethargic, just
because of technology because of, young generation spend their time on social media platform, rather than going at gym, since they are not
mor
used to form the comparative of some adjectives and adverbs
more
physically active
,
Accept space
,
hence
of that they are going prone of overweight.
However
, there are numerous of remedies of
this
problem
such
as government should implement
high tax
Suggestion
a high tax
high taxes
on junk
food
.
Furthermore
,
government
Suggestion
the government
should build public parks, healthcare centre and provide many other facilities which must relate about health. Apart of that, individuals should take care their self and do some
physically
Suggestion
physical
exercise and eat healthy foods. To summarise, fast
food
and unhealthy
dily
every day; without missing a day
daily
routine are
cause
Suggestion
a cause
of overweight.

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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