IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Scientist agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientist #people #health #junk #food #education #work
Does eating unhealthy
food
 damages people's health?
This
 topic is always the centre of discussion. Some of them think that educating people in
this
 context will help, while others have a view that it will bring not much of a difference.
This
 essay will discuss both the views, I,
however
, support the former view. On the one hand, the people advocating that making others aware of what they are eating will not work, as everyone is so busy and they don't have
time
 to cook healthy meals.
In addition
 to
this
, there are more places that sell fast
food
 in comparison of the healthy meal stall, so they have very limited choices.
Furthermore
, most of the
time
, junk meals
tastes
Suggestion
taste
 better than
the healthy
Suggestion
the health
food
. Because of all these reasons,
this
 group of the people thinks that there will be no change in the way people make their
food
 choices.
On the other hand
, the people who believe that making the masses aware and educating them will bring about the huge difference.
Firstly
, most of them are not aware what they are eating, as most of the
time
 they don't read the nutritional content mentioned in the product, so if they know the percentage of sodium, carbohydrates, fats in the products and how it will damage their health,
next
time
 they will be more aware
in
Suggestion
of
 their choices.
Secondly
, educating the children in the school about healthy eating along side with the parents.
For example
, during the extracurricular activities the parents can be involved in school and grow fruits and vegetables along with their children and raise money by selling it. By
this
 they will have a sense of accomplishment and will get to know more about growing healthy vegetables and fruits and eating healthy. To conclude, educating people about making a right
choices
Suggestion
choice
 and eating healthy will definitely help the society as a whole.
Submitted by sunitadwivedi5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: