IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Thesedays, problems with pollution are becoming worse, particularly in large cities. What are the reasons for this and how can this be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#thesedays #pollution #cities #be
In today's
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 the issue of air
pollution
 has become a major
concerns
Correct the article-noun agreement
concern
show examples
 to metropolitan
cities
. I personally believe, there are two main
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 that harm our
environemnt
Correct your spelling
environment
 overpopulation and
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
show examples
 effect.
This
 essay will discuss two problems and how to address them, using
relevant
Add an article
a relevant
the relevant
show examples
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 from UK BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
show examples
 and
Queenland
Correct your spelling
Queensland
 University to demonstrate points and prove arguments. Environmentalist experts throughout the
world
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 advised that the
world
 is overpopulation
in particular
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
cities
aroung
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 with
low density
Add a hyphen
low-density
show examples
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
This
problem
 causes
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the majority of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
show examples
 to live in main metropolitan
areas
as a result
 of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of job opportunities development and resources in rural
areas
.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
empiral
Correct your spelling
empirical
 research by
Queenland
Correct your spelling
Queensland
 University suggested that
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
 population has grown in importance over the
last
 decade.
This
 is
due to
 the fact health
public
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
system,
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 and infrastructure
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 advanced technologies in comparison with rural
areas
. Consistent with
this
 line of thinking,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should allocate more public funds to rural
areas
 with the aim of creating more opportunities for the local people and reducing the existing
problem
 of air
pollution
 in major
cities
. Another reason as
regard
Correct subject-verb agreement
regards
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
problem
 of contamination is the greenhouse effect. Major
cities
 around the
world
 started building powerful power
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
areas
 in order to meet the high demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 electricity.
This
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to the process of
burn
Change the verb form
burning
show examples
 fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
such
 as coal, the
greast
Correct your spelling
great
greatest
 contaminated material.
For example
,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 article published by BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
show examples
 showed that 20% of the population in Taiwan has suffered lung cancer
as a result
 of contaminated particulars on air generated from the power plant.
Thus
,
therefore
 it is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 doubt that leaders
worlwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 should curb the emission rate by 20% in large
cities
To conclude
 from the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 worldwide should work together to combat the effect of climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 and
pollution
 that it is causing detrimental damage to
dweler
Correct your spelling
dweller
 citizens. In the
futere
Correct your spelling
future
, there will be more challenges to overcome, but individuals
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
combant
Correct your spelling
combat
 and defeat the
problem
 of environmental
pollution
.
Submitted by renzotj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: