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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that both governments and individuals should work together to stop animal extinction,
while
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 others argue that human needs are more important. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views, but I strongly believe that protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 is necessary because it helps maintain the balance of nature and benefits human life in the long run. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that human beings should be prioritized over
animals
Use synonyms
, especially when resources are limited. They argue that governments must focus on urgent issues
such
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 as healthcare, education, and poverty.
For instance
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, in countries like Ethiopia or Nepal, the government may allocate funding to build hospitals or provide clean water rather than
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
 in wildlife conservation. Supporters of
this
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 view believe that helping
people
Use synonyms
 directly improves national development and quality of life.
However
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,
this
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 perspective overlooks the long-term effects of environmental damage, which can
also
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 negatively impact human well-being.
On the other hand
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, I believe that protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 should be a shared responsibility between nations and individuals.
Animals
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in maintaining ecological balance, which is essential for human survival.
For example
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, bees are responsible for pollinating crops
such
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 as apples, almonds, and coffee. If bees become extinct, global food production would be severely affected, leading to food shortages and economic loss.
Moreover
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, forests, oceans, and animal habitats all work together as natural systems that protect the Earth from climate change. Simple actions like community awareness programs, wildlife-friendly farming, or protecting green spaces can make a real difference without requiring large financial investments. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that governments should focus only on human needs, I believe that protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 is equally important. The natural world and human life are closely connected, and losing animal species could create serious problems for our environment, health, and future generations.
Therefore
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, both individuals and countries must take action to prevent animal extinction.

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positive
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the essay. Good job!
advice
You should make sure each paragraph logically flows to the next. Adding linking words can help with this.
advice
Include more specific examples in the body paragraphs to support your points more clearly.
positive
Your conclusion summarizes your points well and reflects your opinion clearly.
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