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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?

The role of educating
people
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 about their
health
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 in a community cannot be overemphasized as it is an
eye opener
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eye-opener
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 to the inhabitants. I agree that
health
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 education plays a vital part in
the
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apply
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society because it will help the masses to be conscious of their personal hygiene and enlighten
intending
Verb problem
apply
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couples
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 to be aware of their
genotype
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 compatibility.
Firstly
Linking Words
, villagers who are well educated about the state of their
health
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 and
wellbeing
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well-being
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 will be more concerned about their hygiene and a neat environment. Most times, these
people
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 are not knowledgeable about taking proper care of their bodies because of poor awareness.
Furthermore
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, it will drastically reduce the rate at which
people
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 fall sick
due to
Linking Words
 inadequate personal care of themselves. To illustrate
this
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 point, the
people
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 in a Kano village in Niger state, Nigeria have put their hygiene into cognizance after some medical practitioners enlightened them about their
health
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.
As a result
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, they less visited the hospital.
Therefore
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, when the public is properly educated about their
health
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, they care more about their bodies and
health
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. Another point to consider is that
couples
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 who are about to get married are informed properly about their
genotype
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 compatibility and the steps to take. Sometimes, most
couples
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 blindly get married without knowing the state of their partner's
genotype
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.
This
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 has birthed a lot of sickle cell children in
the
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apply
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society
due to
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 lack of information.
Consequently
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, it has created a ripple effect as some of these spouses end up divorcing.
Nevertheless
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, when they are properly informed about it, they can be guided.
For instance
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, the statistics of sickle cell patients in 2013 reduced by
eighty five
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eighty-five
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 percent in Nigeria because of proper guidance by medical professionals for intending
couples
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. When they are enlightened about their
health
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, it will assist in reducing some medical risks by the spouses who are about to tie the nuptial knot. In conclusion, I agree that
health
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 education is very beneficial to the public because it will develop a healthy
living
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apply
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lifestyle and assist
couples
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 who are about to get married in
taking
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making
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 some favourable decisions as regards their
genotype
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.

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task response
Ensure a clear and concise introduction that outlines the main points of the essay
coherence cohesion
Work on developing stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs to improve overall coherence
Topic Vocabulary:
  • awareness
  • lifestyle choices
  • early detection
  • management of diseases
  • burden on healthcare
  • culture of prevention
  • chronic diseases
  • empowers
  • personal responsibility
  • health disparities
  • at-risk populations
  • social equity
  • public health guidelines
  • community resilience
  • health crises
  • preventive measures
  • healthcare costs
  • future generation
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