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Band 5.5

Young People Today Spend More Time Than Ever Before Playing Video Games

#people #time #video #games
Nowadays youngsters enjoy playing
video
 games and
as a result
, they spent a great deal of time on their computers.
Although
 playing
video
 games has a negative effect on their physical and emotional growth and development, it has a few benefits too.
Hence
, I can only partially agree with the given argument that
video
 games are harmful for children. Playing
videos
Suggestion
video
 games excessively can hurt the physical and sociological development of children in numerous ways.
Firstly when
Accept comma addition
Firstly, when
 young children are addicted to playing
video
 games they spent a lot of time sitting in front of their computers and they may hardly do other physical activities. Due to
this
 situation, young people may not receive adequate exercise and they may become obese.
In addition
,
this
 addiction to playing these games prevent children from going out to socialize with their friends and play other games
such
 as football and hockey, which provide exercise to the body. Due to
this
, these youngsters may not be able to make friends in the society or engage in any social activity, which may help to build the social network they may require in
future
Suggestion
the future
 to be a successful person.
Furthermore
, many
video
 games have violent content and children playing them may demonstrate aggressive and antisocial behaviour.
Hence playing
Accept comma addition
Hence, playing
video
 games can be harmful
for
Suggestion
to
 youngsters both socially and physiologically.
On the other hand
, playing these kinds of games can
also
 benefit them. Some
video
 games enhance the creativity of children and enable them to take quick decisions in emergency situations. A good example is the specially designed pilot training software.
Moreover
, some
video
 games allow playing in teams and they may be helpful to make a virtual network of friends. In conclusion, playing
video
 games can be harmful to the physical and sociological development of children by making them obese and
antisocial even
Accept comma addition
antisocial, even
 though these games can improve their decision-making abilities and creativity.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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