More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In these days overweight is serious
concern specially
Accept comma addition
concern, especially
concern especially
in children. Eating pattern completely have been changed not only in children as well as in adults.
Specially
Suggestion
Especially
in
developed
Suggestion
developing
countries that problem is in peak. Children from starting age starts gaining weight and become overweight in
few years
Suggestion
a few years
. It has some serious effects going to explain in following paragraphs
To begin
Linking Words
overweight children cannot focus in studies due to laziness because
more
Suggestion
the more
they eat more, they become lazy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that children always be sick because if child have perfect weight according to age and height they always be playing, jumping and stay healthy.
In addition
Linking Words
, cannot play any sports as any kind of sports want energy and
stamina but
Accept comma addition
stamina, but
overweight child
Suggestion
the overweight child
an overweight child
cannot be
energetic
Suggestion
energized
and less in stamina.
However
Linking Words
, if we take
example
Suggestion
the example
an example
of china, I have seen some viral videos of kids in that country start some kind of sports in early age and in Asian
games none
Accept comma addition
games, none
of
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
country still
beat
Suggestion
beats
in gaining medals they always stay in
top position
Suggestion
the top position
because kids have start trained in childhood due to that they cannot be overweight. That problem arising
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
in developed countries due to eating habit some kind of snacks and sugary drinks make kids overweight. To conclude being overweight specially for children is not good for them as they are future of wealthy countries if they are not fit, they cannot make some great ideas which lead to country towards success. Healthy mind come with healthy food and healthy food make fit to children.
Submitted by kulpreetsingh90 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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