More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #countries #effects

In these days overweight is serious

concern specially

Accept comma addition

concern, especially

concern especially

in children. Eating pattern completely have been changed not only in children as well as in adults.

Specially

Suggestion

Especially

developed

Suggestion

developing

countries that problem is in peak. Children from starting age starts gaining weight and become overweight in

few years

Suggestion

a few years

. It has some serious effects going to explain in following paragraphs

To begin

overweight children cannot focus in studies due to laziness because

Suggestion

the more

they eat more, they become lazy.

Moreover

, that children always be sick because if child have perfect weight according to age and height they always be playing, jumping and stay healthy.

In addition

, cannot play any sports as any kind of sports want energy and

stamina but

Accept comma addition

stamina, but

overweight child

Suggestion

the overweight child

an overweight child

cannot be

energetic

Suggestion

energized

and less in stamina.

However

, if we take

example

Suggestion

the example

an example

of china, I have seen some viral videos of kids in that country start some kind of sports in early age and in Asian

games none

Accept comma addition

games, none

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

country still

beat

Suggestion

beats

in gaining medals they always stay in

top position

Suggestion

the top position

because kids have start trained in childhood due to that they cannot be overweight. That problem arising

specially

to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common

especially

in developed countries due to eating habit some kind of snacks and sugary drinks make kids overweight. To conclude being overweight specially for children is not good for them as they are future of wealthy countries if they are not fit, they cannot make some great ideas which lead to country towards success. Healthy mind come with healthy food and healthy food make fit to children.

Submitted by kulpreetsingh90 on Sat Feb 08 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Example
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that success in life comes from hard-working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?