Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and public transport ,others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever thay like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is generally accepted that in public areas, using smartphones should be banned. There are some groups of people who disagree, and they think that it must be on freedom to use.
This
essay will demonstrate both views in the following paragraph.
Smartphones should be banned in some common spaces. The first initial reason is that sometimes using one of these devices in public places might interrupt others, Linking Words
such
as phone calls, watching video clips, and taking pictures. Linking Words
Due to
modern day, people tend to worry more about their own privacy, they might not be comfortable in a situation that got disturbed by others, because the peak hour of using transport is in the evening. Linking Words
This
means they just finished their job after a long day, so they only need to relax and peaceful space.
Linking Words
Besides
the season that it should be banned, there are Linking Words
also
benefits to using it with unlimited. Phones or tablets are the best tools for almost everyone at the moment. If they have to be limited in use, they will definitely be consumed as a useless thing, Linking Words
due to
their can catch up with the latest news, and deal with the work. Linking Words
For instance
, 6:00 pm is the peak time in any public place, the worker has been busily focusing on their own duty for the whole day, and the only time that heading home is the best way for them to chill out on the social platforms or continuing with the rest of the online work.
In conclusion, using private devices in public areas has both benefits and drawbacks for all the reasons mentioned above. From my point of view, I would disagree with some groups who want Linking Words
this
to be banned, because these tools can help us in many situations. As a suggestion, people must be more aware of using it in the appropriate ways.Linking Words
Submitted by piasnatcha09 on
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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. You should clearly discuss both views presented and also include a well-developed paragraph expressing your own opinion. Consider adding more details and specific examples to support your perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that signal to the reader what the paragraph will discuss. Additionally, try to use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more specific examples and facts to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also shows a deeper understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?