Many students take part time jobs while studying un the universities. Is this a bad or a good idea?

#students #part #time #jobs #universities #idea

A number of youngsters

are do

Suggestion

are doing

part

time

jobs rather than studying in universities. In my perspective, it is a good idea. On the one hand, do

part

time

jobs are essential

for

Suggestion

students

Suggestion

students'

career as well.

because

Suggestion

Because

when they take

part

time

jobs they become responsible or

hardworking

Suggestion

hard working

Moreover

, they do their work in a good manner and

also

with their responsibility.

Secondly

, jobs

are

Suggestion

also provide

are also providing

have also provided

also

provide them a handsome money. Due to which they earn money for their study.

they

Suggestion

They

do not depend on their parents for

fulfill

Suggestion

fulfilling

fulfil

their needs.

Finally

, while doing a

part

time

job learners

Accept comma addition

job, learners

get to know what is happening in

thier

of them or themselves

their

there

societies.

when

Suggestion

When

they work they meet different kind of people's and learn new things every day, which is not possible in a school

that is

only limited to certain subjects. To sum up

Accept space

I would say it is very important for a student to work while they studying because it in

hence

their confidence and they become more responsible in their early age.

Sat Feb 08 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

166 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many students take part time jobs while studying un the universities. Is this a bad or a good idea?

Fully explain your ideas

TOPIC : The movement of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing many cities today. Discuss the main causes. What solutions can be used to tackle the situation?

Some people get into debt buying things they don't need and can'y afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent having this problem

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities ,which are played alone .To what exteny do you agree or disagree .

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

nformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?