Some people get into debt buying things they don't need and can'y afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent having this problem
Many
people
today are opting for purchasing goods which they do not truly need and cannot afford its cost, resulting in being saddled with crippling debts. This
essay will examine the main causes of getting into debt
because of unnecessary purchases, and possible solutions of
Change preposition
to
this
problem.
The underlying causes of shopping for needless items and running up huge debt
are the desire to show off, and being influenced by advertisements. Firstly
, A large segment of people
seek being
categorized in the higher socio-economic group to show Change the verb form
to be
people
how well-off they are. In order to achieve that, human
start to consume money on useless items that they do not really want which are over-budget and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
consequently
people
are falling into debt
. Secondly
, advertisement exploits vulnerabilities in human psychology. By this
I mean that Add a comma
this,
ads
orientate products toward the impressionable consumer and trying
to convince him that if he buys Wrong verb form
try
this
item, he will decidedly live a fulfillment
life. Change the spelling
fulfilment
Consequently
, the individual places a huge order for the sake of instant gratification resulting in being deep in debt
.
The two possible solutions to this
problem are using media to promote awareness and experiencing some volition by individuals. By interfering media
to increase public awareness against needless consumption of goods by hosting psychiatrists, Change preposition
with media
people
will know the far-reaching effects of purchasing useless and exorbitant items to avoid getting into debts
. Fix the agreement mistake
debt
Moreover
, psychiatrists have a pivotal rule to show people
how advertisement can affect their way of thinking and how it entices
Correct subject-verb agreement
entice
the
Correct article usage
apply
customer
into buying things they do not frankly want.
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
Furthermore
, individual
must strive to avoid Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
advs
and experience strong volition in order to never get affected by these exploitive Correct your spelling
ads
ads
. As a result
, individual
will be aware that advertising does not simply meet needs; it creates them.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
people
misunderstanding of
their actual needs and being manipulated by Change preposition
apply
compelling
presence of Add an article
the compelling
ads
have a negative impact on the individual and he will have to suffer the consequences of falling into debt
.
However
, the consumer can lessen excessive purchasing of unimportant things which he cannot afford by boosting his willpower,
and knowing from media the influence of Remove the comma
apply
ads
and how to avoid them.Submitted by massaasaad7 on
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introduction conclusion present
While the essay provides an appropriate introduction and conclusion, they could be further improved by including more precise thesis statements and summaries of the main points discussed.
logical structure
The use of cohesive devices is evident and aids in the flow of the essay. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that the transitions between ideas are smoother and that paragraphing is appropriately varied to enhance clarity.
relevant specific examples
The essay could benefit from a range of specific, real-world examples that accurately reinforce the points being made. Incorporating these into the argument will greatly enhance its persuasive power and meet the criteria for a higher band score.
clear comprehensive ideas
You address the task fully and develop a clear position across the entire response. However, in some parts of the essay, your ideas could be expressed more concisely and precisely to improve readability and ensure the response is completely comprehensive.
supported main points
Your main points are supported and relevant to the task question, but you can attempt to explore these points in even greater depth to demonstrate a fuller understanding and achieve a higher score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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