Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, diseases and health issues which are strongly connected with consuming nourishment and beverages with high levels of

sugar

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tend to rise. Many individuals claim that

prices

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for these

products

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should be more expensive in comparison with other

products

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in order to consume less

sugar

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. Let me examine both sides of

this

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issue before reaching a concrete decision. It is true that a multitude of manufacturers of edibles include fructose and maltose in their

products

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. If we take a closer look at the ingredients of straightforward daily

products

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we will be overwhelmed by

sugar

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levels. It leads to making nutrition and drinks mouth-watering and appetizing.

Due to

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this

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, consumers purchase these

products

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frequently. In the future, it can be the main circumstance for the appearance of life-threatening chronic diseases, which include insulin resistance and obesity.

Moreover

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, a diet which contains high levels of saccharin leads to chronic body inflammation which is the main cause of cancer development in the human body. Government should strictly control the processes of creating nourishment for society members, but it is a sophisticated issue to implement. Ought to

this

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, country heads should reinforce

prices

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for drinks and edibles tremendously and noticeably for individuals. To cite an example, if adolescents who are addicted to beverages with enormous amounts of

sugar

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, will realize that their favourite drink rocketed in price they will replace

this

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diet with healthier and cheaper alternatives.

On the other hand

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, we need to consciously realize that it’s a double-edged sword and we need to think about citizens of senior age.

Due to

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the fact, that approximately all grocery

products

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in the supermarket contain

sugar

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, they will suffer if

prices

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are enhanced.

Furthermore

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, our society has a multitude of low-income families, it can be challenging for them to find appropriate

products

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at cheaper

prices

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. Another factor to consider is the impact on small businesses and industries and the possible appearance of black markets which will provide sugary

products

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at reliable

prices

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for society. In a similar fashion, numerous inhabitants will continue to purchase sugary

products

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regardless of their price. As evidence, it can lead to overconsuming despite of actions of governments to stop purchasing unhealthy

products

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To sum up

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, it is a controversial question, which can have versatile and multifaceted ramifications in all fields of human beings. From my point of view, due to the disruptive effects of edibles with

sugar

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prices

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for them should be increased in order to reduce the risks of heavy illnesses.

makemoneyizzy16Tue Aug 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is centered around a single, clear main idea, and develop it fully. This will help in maintaining a stronger logical structure.

task achievement

Make sure your examples are specific and directly related to the point being made. Generic or unclear examples can weaken the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the issue and the writer's position.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay demonstrates a good command of English, with a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

412 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Every year several languages die out. Some peple think that this is not important becuase life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that in our modern age it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that, outside of the school, should be free to enjoy ife. Discuss both views and give yours?