In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own countries. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this development?

It is often thought that in the past
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
pupils were providing a university course in their home town.
However
, these days there are more chances to
make
Verb problem
get
show examples
your education in another state. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the positive and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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of
this
impact. The advantage is that
students
will learn a new foreign language and develop their knowledge. The reason for
this
is that learning a new tongue is easier abroad.
Furthermore
,
the
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apply
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young adults will increase
in
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apply
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their experience because every place
is providing their
Wrong verb form
provides
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employment and study in their own way.
For example
, practice nurses in the Netherlands
are
Verb problem
do
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not
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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care of asthma or diabetic clinics,
whereas
the United Kingdom does show their nurses how to handle
with
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apply
show examples
those patients. All in all, it is true that you will gain a lot of information abroad, whether it's the language or the informative sources. The disadvantage is that there will be an increase in foreign
students
.The reason for
this
is that there is more need for tuition and English classes.
In other words
, educational institutes need to put more effort
in
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into
show examples
those people to keep the passing rate on top.
For example
, it can be seen that those
students
need more help to make themselves ready for an exam. So that's why,
this
is a negative effect for the universities.
To conclude
, in the previous years,
students
were doing their university degree in the country where they were living.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
this
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed over the past few years and it is possible now to study abroad as well. The positive side of
this
is that
students
are able to learn a new language and increase their knowledge. The negative effect is that there will be a huge pressure on the educational places.
Submitted by rehanauddin9 on

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task response
The essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas that thoroughly address both advantages and disadvantages, making it difficult to achieve a full understanding of your argument. Consider using more distinct paragraphs to separate ideas and provide more detailed exploration of each advantage and disadvantage.
coherence and cohesion
Your logical structure could be greatly improved. Ideas were not always clearly connected and transitions between them were weak, which affected the coherence of the essay. Try to use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
While there is an attempt at an introduction and conclusion, these sections need to be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly sets up the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information.
task achievement
Specific examples were provided, but they were not always fully developed or explicitly linked to the issue at hand. Work on providing more detailed examples and clearly explain how they support the arguments you're making regarding the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • exposure
  • perspectives
  • academic
  • career
  • personal growth
  • development
  • language proficiency
  • communication skills
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • costs
  • financial burden
  • homesickness
  • loneliness
  • cultural barriers
  • language barriers
  • adjustment difficulties
  • safety concerns
  • unfamiliar environment
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