Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the realm of international
countries
, affluent Use synonyms
countries
always try to alleviate the poverty of poor nations. Wealthy states mostly give financial aid to weaker Use synonyms
countries
, Use synonyms
although
, it does not help to take them out from the poorness. Linking Words
However
, rich cash Linking Words
countries
must help them to build hospitals, institutions, and transport systems, and provide industrial help. I do agree with the above notion because the amount never reached the people Use synonyms
due to
corruption by the politicians and officials.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the main reason is that mainly poor Linking Words
countries
’ politicians are corrupt and after they receive any aid from outside, they first take some part and use it for personal reasons and the rest is given to the citizens, which is not sufficient for primary requirements. Use synonyms
Moreover
, another factor is that officials do not have the financial management skills to handle the donated Linking Words
money
and they invest it in the wrong schemes. Use synonyms
For example
, in Pakistan, their politicians use Linking Words
money
for their own interests and buy properties overseas. Use synonyms
As a result
, it is evident that the population of those Linking Words
countries
is always in poverty Use synonyms
due to
the lack of infrastructure.
Linking Words
Secondly
, the primary reason is that affluent Linking Words
countries
must build hospitals, education institutions, and transport systems, and set up industries. So these people can enjoy these facilities and they can work in industries. Use synonyms
For instance
, if citizens of those nations make Linking Words
money
, their living standards will automatically rise. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, another factor is that provide technical training and education to them, so they can work in industries and retail stores.
Linking Words
To conclude
, following the analysis Linking Words
it is clear that
if people have a health care system, good roads, public transport, and food they can live their lives in a proper way but wealthy Linking Words
countries
’ officials must monitor the Use synonyms
money
used by poor Use synonyms
countries
.Use synonyms
Submitted by rbtech65 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Revise the introduction to ensure it clearly states your position and provides a roadmap for the essay. The current introduction repeats itself slightly and could be more concise.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs. Try using more varied linking words or phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Develop the main points further with additional specific examples and explanations. This will reinforce your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your points regarding the kinds of industrial help rich countries can provide. Giving more detailed suggestions or real-world examples would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and addresses the prompt adequately.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs for each main point.
Task Achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, such as the mention of Pakistan, supports your argument effectively.