Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the realm of international

countries

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, affluent

countries

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always try to alleviate the poverty of poor nations. Wealthy states mostly give financial aid to weaker

countries

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although

Linking Words

, it does not help to take them out from the poorness.

However

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, rich cash

countries

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must help them to build hospitals, institutions, and transport systems, and provide industrial help. I do agree with the above notion because the amount never reached the people

due to

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corruption by the politicians and officials.

Firstly

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, the main reason is that mainly poor

countries

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’ politicians are corrupt and after they receive any aid from outside, they first take some part and use it for personal reasons and the rest is given to the citizens, which is not sufficient for primary requirements.

Moreover

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, another factor is that officials do not have the financial management skills to handle the donated

money

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and they invest it in the wrong schemes.

For example

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, in Pakistan, their politicians use

money

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for their own interests and buy properties overseas.

As a result

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, it is evident that the population of those

countries

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is always in poverty

due to

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the lack of infrastructure.

Secondly

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, the primary reason is that affluent

countries

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must build hospitals, education institutions, and transport systems, and set up industries. So these people can enjoy these facilities and they can work in industries.

For instance

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, if citizens of those nations make

money

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, their living standards will automatically rise.

Furthermore

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, another factor is that provide technical training and education to them, so they can work in industries and retail stores.

To conclude

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, following the analysis

it is clear that

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if people have a health care system, good roads, public transport, and food they can live their lives in a proper way but wealthy

countries

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’ officials must monitor the

money

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used by poor

countries

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rbtech65Sat Jan 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Revise the introduction to ensure it clearly states your position and provides a roadmap for the essay. The current introduction repeats itself slightly and could be more concise.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs. Try using more varied linking words or phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

Develop the main points further with additional specific examples and explanations. This will reinforce your argument and make it more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Clarify and expand on your points regarding the kinds of industrial help rich countries can provide. Giving more detailed suggestions or real-world examples would strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear standpoint and addresses the prompt adequately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs for each main point.

Task Achievement

The inclusion of specific examples, such as the mention of Pakistan, supports your argument effectively.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative impact on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How can the government make sure that people save enough money to live on when they are old?

The internet has transformed how we interact and live in many great ways, but has also created problems that didn’t exist before. What are the more serious problems caused by the internet and what solutions could you suggest?

Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?