Some people suggest that schools should pay more attention to academic subjects for children because these subjects are useful for their future career. They think that subjects like music and sport are not useful and should be reduced. What is your opinion?

The function of schools is not only to teach students the necessary cultural knowledge, but
also
to provide prospective talents for the development of the country.Today, we can see that some schools have arranged a large proportion of their curriculum into academic programs. While some people support
this
approach to help children's
future
career development, I believe that society needs well-rounded talents, appropriate artistic and sports training, which contributes to the development of individuals and countries.
Firstly
, music, physical education and other courses are
also
helpful for
future
occupational choice.
For example
, music class can cultivate people's aesthetic ability and stimulate their creativity, which is helpful for engaging in creative industries in the
future
,
such
as fashion designer and architect. PE class can
also
promote physical coordination, which is beneficial to the
future
outdoor sports coach, police policemen, soldiers and other professions.
Moreover
, listening to music and doing sports are both activities that children enjoy, which can relax their body and mind and contribute to the better academic study. Studies have shown that continuous and intense learning tends to cause brain fatigue and memory loss. The arrangement of "non-practical" subjects help to reduce fatigue and
thus
maximize learning efficiency.
Lastly
, nobody can really predict which areas of knowledge will be most useful to society in the
future
, and it may be that employers begin to value creative thinking skills above practical or technical skills. If
this
were the case, perhaps we would need more students of art, history and philosophy than of science or technology. I do appreciate that some people think differently, saying that academic subjects provide more job opportunities, career progression, better salaries, and
therefore
an improved quality of life for students who take them.
Nevertheless
, If all the graduates take the same jobs in the forthcoming, it will inevitably bring more problems
such
as oversupply of some positions and shortage of talents in others. In conclusion, the education system should pay enough attention to the arrangement of courses, and overemphasis on the importance of academic courses will detriment the true purpose of basic education.
Submitted by lindsayguo872 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: